Forget You

You know people say I could be very mean at times... I say you must've deserved it. Like when I respond to this question.."I haven't heard from you in a while, did you forget about me??"

What is this? Are you trying to make me feel guilty because I outgrew that a long time ago... Instead you must want to get your feelings hurt cause my answer is ' Yes, I forgot about you. You are clearly a forgettable person and I indeed forgot about you.' and here's the clincher... You OBVIOUSLY forgot about me or at least didn't remember me enough to call, text or email so why are you complaining? It's not as if I heard your voice over my phone in the last couple of months so forgettable you needs to keep on forgetting about me and go on with the life you had 10 minutes ago. Ugh!

But as mean as that seems, my heart bleeds room temperature.

I talk a good game, but it's not easy for me to let go. It never has been. Growing up with a father who traveled quite often and ended up dying halfway across the world, away from the ppl he loved the most, has made it damn near impossible for me to just let someone walk out of my life. It tore me to pieces when my brother moved to Georgia although I know it was something he had to do. Garette can attest to how much I cried moving into my own apt cause instead of being the one who was left, I ended up leaving my mother, and in some ways feeling as though I was abandoning her.

So no, even when someone royally fucks up, even in the midst of my anger which can be detrimental to any friendship, I usually leave a space for them to come back. To me, in life the only finality is death. Nothing is ever over, friendships are never just lost cause life is just too short and this world is too small to simply forget.