So I'm actively using an online "relationship" site to find a date. With my life being the way it is now i'm so dang busy I dont have time to go where the men are. So this particular site sends you matches instead of you looking through them. Ok i guess seeing as every man they send me is 5'5" or a few inches taller... I mean really?? I'm 6'1" and before you ask, Yes i made sure to click the "very important" button next to the height requirements LOL
So I've talked to 2 guys and met 0 in person. It doesn't appear I'm doing any better with this site than I could have in the club. Then there's the ones that constantly look at your picture rather than just send the message or start the process.... on to the next one.
Wednesday, February 03, 2010
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Full tank and no where to go
You ever just want to be in love? Just feel like you're tank is filled to the brim and there's no vehicle to transfer this love to? that's how i feel. I wasted a year being something to someone and in the end we weren't what i thought we were. I possibly ruined what could have been a good love, and now i'm full of this emotion and no one to give it to. Totally sucks. Just venting
Tuesday, February 03, 2009
His name
His name is Bryan* and he is fantastic, sexy, intelligent, caring, supportive, giving and more. Technically he's mine but we forgo the titles "girlfriend/boyfriend"... just mine. We had our first "fight" if you want to call it that and I thought for sure it was over, but nope, within minutes he brushed it aside and comforted me b/c as he says "you can't get rid of me that easily"... and why would I want to?
He has no kids, an engineering degree, works two jobs just trying to get into his field... basically he works every day of the week and he eats ALOT! which isn't so bad since i like to cook. But as it stands from last post, I'm happy and i'm not scared of being happy anymore... I'm spoiled now. I miss him when he's not there sleeping next to me, I miss him during the day when i should be working (right now) and he sends me messages everyday.
I'm happy
He has no kids, an engineering degree, works two jobs just trying to get into his field... basically he works every day of the week and he eats ALOT! which isn't so bad since i like to cook. But as it stands from last post, I'm happy and i'm not scared of being happy anymore... I'm spoiled now. I miss him when he's not there sleeping next to me, I miss him during the day when i should be working (right now) and he sends me messages everyday.
I'm happy
Thursday, November 20, 2008
new excitement
Im excited and it scares the crap out of me...
The last time i was excited like this about a guy, we spent two years "happy" and in the end I was broke, moved to another state and my car was seized as 'evidence'. Not the kind of excitement i need in my life if you know what i mean.
But Bryan seems so real but so unreal for me. It's as if someone read my romantic fantasies and produced the stallion in all airport- book dramas. We flow...we chat..we commiserate about nothing and everything...and when it's time to go, we get sad. It's an exciting feeling b/c I haven't felt this way about a guy in a long time.
I haven't left my bed to see someone, or broken from my plans to see someone in a long time, no one was worth it but Bryan is... his words, his feelings he shares, his smile and his initmate stares... is all so much that I try to push him away......so he pushes back.
his kiss.... is explosive
and it scares me......
The last time i was excited like this about a guy, we spent two years "happy" and in the end I was broke, moved to another state and my car was seized as 'evidence'. Not the kind of excitement i need in my life if you know what i mean.
But Bryan seems so real but so unreal for me. It's as if someone read my romantic fantasies and produced the stallion in all airport- book dramas. We flow...we chat..we commiserate about nothing and everything...and when it's time to go, we get sad. It's an exciting feeling b/c I haven't felt this way about a guy in a long time.
I haven't left my bed to see someone, or broken from my plans to see someone in a long time, no one was worth it but Bryan is... his words, his feelings he shares, his smile and his initmate stares... is all so much that I try to push him away......so he pushes back.
his kiss.... is explosive
and it scares me......
Monday, June 30, 2008
The bad date
I've had a couple of bad dates in my life, but this one... Whew.. read for yourself.
*taken from emails I sent around b/c it was truly unbelievable.
so, i met this guy on blackplanet b/c my girlfriend Nic said to go on meet guys it worked for her blah blah. I met this guy we'll call Geo, he's nice, great convo we have so much in common.
i wanna meet him, he wants to meet me etc. make a date for sat the 28th, he'll take the day off take me to breakfast make me dinner blah blah. texting all day Wednesday and he decides he wants to see me that night. I say ok, im scruffy but always cute so im cool. he gets there....the dude is chubby, not athletic like he said, scruffy, beard unkept. strike one!
so we go in (we met at fridays) sit at the bar. no sooner than we sit down the bartender comes over and Geo says ''do u remember me, i was in here with two girls'', bartender says ''i think so'' so now Geo says '' yea u were flirting with me, uh huh, u were flirting with me then''. Now I've met this bartender, he's nice to everyone and far from gay. bartender looks at me, im looking at dude like wtf? and Geo keeps going despite the bartender saying ''really, i think u have the wrong person"
Geo goes on telling the waitress and what not... he's serious. then im noticing this dude got some tendencies... hands and he talks kinda gayish. i finally ask... wtf was that...to which Geo says i was joking.
me: no u were not.
i tell him to apologize but the bartender doesnt want to hear it. i was so embarrassed i had to leave...... then he tries to kiss me outside.
lawd what is wrong with these men!
*taken from emails I sent around b/c it was truly unbelievable.
so, i met this guy on blackplanet b/c my girlfriend Nic said to go on meet guys it worked for her blah blah. I met this guy we'll call Geo, he's nice, great convo we have so much in common.
i wanna meet him, he wants to meet me etc. make a date for sat the 28th, he'll take the day off take me to breakfast make me dinner blah blah. texting all day Wednesday and he decides he wants to see me that night. I say ok, im scruffy but always cute so im cool. he gets there....the dude is chubby, not athletic like he said, scruffy, beard unkept. strike one!
so we go in (we met at fridays) sit at the bar. no sooner than we sit down the bartender comes over and Geo says ''do u remember me, i was in here with two girls'', bartender says ''i think so'' so now Geo says '' yea u were flirting with me, uh huh, u were flirting with me then''. Now I've met this bartender, he's nice to everyone and far from gay. bartender looks at me, im looking at dude like wtf? and Geo keeps going despite the bartender saying ''really, i think u have the wrong person"
Geo goes on telling the waitress and what not... he's serious. then im noticing this dude got some tendencies... hands and he talks kinda gayish. i finally ask... wtf was that...to which Geo says i was joking.
me: no u were not.
i tell him to apologize but the bartender doesnt want to hear it. i was so embarrassed i had to leave...... then he tries to kiss me outside.
lawd what is wrong with these men!
Tuesday, April 01, 2008
Love Dies
The more and more i get hurt from love the more I ask...what the hell is the point? Everything is temporary... Why love a person, thing, pet when they all die and leave and you're just left with pain?
My Nero is my sweetheart, my little man and now I have to put him to sleep. People tell me why get bent out of shape? B/c despite people, Nero loves me unconditionally. I never owed him an explanation for anything i did, or living my life, I was never the bad guy when I disciplined him and when i was in pain, he would jump on my bed and be my teddy bear. He was only a puppy and I couldn't protect him. So excuse me while i morn my sweetheart.
I went from hopeful, to tearyeyed to make the decision to put him to sleep, to relieved when they didn't, hopeful again and now i'm back to miserable since they will have to put him to sleep...again.
I only hope that he'll be with God and my dad in Heaven.
**I understand not everyone understands what it's like to be so close to a pet and lose them but please don't act like my feelings shouldn't be validated b/c God forbid YOU can't understand.
My Nero is my sweetheart, my little man and now I have to put him to sleep. People tell me why get bent out of shape? B/c despite people, Nero loves me unconditionally. I never owed him an explanation for anything i did, or living my life, I was never the bad guy when I disciplined him and when i was in pain, he would jump on my bed and be my teddy bear. He was only a puppy and I couldn't protect him. So excuse me while i morn my sweetheart.
I went from hopeful, to tearyeyed to make the decision to put him to sleep, to relieved when they didn't, hopeful again and now i'm back to miserable since they will have to put him to sleep...again.
I only hope that he'll be with God and my dad in Heaven.
**I understand not everyone understands what it's like to be so close to a pet and lose them but please don't act like my feelings shouldn't be validated b/c God forbid YOU can't understand.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Crisis Call
At my job we occasionally get a "crisis" call. This means, the person on the line is so distraught we have to transfer them to a professional counselor to talk to ASAP. As an intake Coordinator anyone that sounds like they are in imminent danger to themselves or others, we have to keep them on the phone, notify a supervisor and they will get the on call Licensed Professional Counselor.
On Friday, I got my first Crisis call. Now although he wasn't about to kill himself or anyone else, this particular gentleman began having a panic attack and was completely out of meds. He was on anxiety pills, anti-depressants and God knows what else. This poor gentleman totally broke down over the phone. while my supervisor called the On Call LPC, I was able to calm him down back to normal. The LPC who listened in to the tail end of my covno w/ panic man told me what a good job i did....
YAY! so it is sinking in
On Friday, I got my first Crisis call. Now although he wasn't about to kill himself or anyone else, this particular gentleman began having a panic attack and was completely out of meds. He was on anxiety pills, anti-depressants and God knows what else. This poor gentleman totally broke down over the phone. while my supervisor called the On Call LPC, I was able to calm him down back to normal. The LPC who listened in to the tail end of my covno w/ panic man told me what a good job i did....
YAY! so it is sinking in
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
