Im excited and it scares the crap out of me...
The last time i was excited like this about a guy, we spent two years "happy" and in the end I was broke, moved to another state and my car was seized as 'evidence'. Not the kind of excitement i need in my life if you know what i mean.
But Bryan seems so real but so unreal for me. It's as if someone read my romantic fantasies and produced the stallion in all airport- book dramas. We flow...we chat..we commiserate about nothing and everything...and when it's time to go, we get sad. It's an exciting feeling b/c I haven't felt this way about a guy in a long time.
I haven't left my bed to see someone, or broken from my plans to see someone in a long time, no one was worth it but Bryan is... his words, his feelings he shares, his smile and his initmate stares... is all so much that I try to push him away......so he pushes back.
his kiss.... is explosive
and it scares me......
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Monday, June 30, 2008
The bad date
I've had a couple of bad dates in my life, but this one... Whew.. read for yourself.
*taken from emails I sent around b/c it was truly unbelievable.
so, i met this guy on blackplanet b/c my girlfriend Nic said to go on meet guys it worked for her blah blah. I met this guy we'll call Geo, he's nice, great convo we have so much in common.
i wanna meet him, he wants to meet me etc. make a date for sat the 28th, he'll take the day off take me to breakfast make me dinner blah blah. texting all day Wednesday and he decides he wants to see me that night. I say ok, im scruffy but always cute so im cool. he gets there....the dude is chubby, not athletic like he said, scruffy, beard unkept. strike one!
so we go in (we met at fridays) sit at the bar. no sooner than we sit down the bartender comes over and Geo says ''do u remember me, i was in here with two girls'', bartender says ''i think so'' so now Geo says '' yea u were flirting with me, uh huh, u were flirting with me then''. Now I've met this bartender, he's nice to everyone and far from gay. bartender looks at me, im looking at dude like wtf? and Geo keeps going despite the bartender saying ''really, i think u have the wrong person"
Geo goes on telling the waitress and what not... he's serious. then im noticing this dude got some tendencies... hands and he talks kinda gayish. i finally ask... wtf was that...to which Geo says i was joking.
me: no u were not.
i tell him to apologize but the bartender doesnt want to hear it. i was so embarrassed i had to leave...... then he tries to kiss me outside.
lawd what is wrong with these men!
*taken from emails I sent around b/c it was truly unbelievable.
so, i met this guy on blackplanet b/c my girlfriend Nic said to go on meet guys it worked for her blah blah. I met this guy we'll call Geo, he's nice, great convo we have so much in common.
i wanna meet him, he wants to meet me etc. make a date for sat the 28th, he'll take the day off take me to breakfast make me dinner blah blah. texting all day Wednesday and he decides he wants to see me that night. I say ok, im scruffy but always cute so im cool. he gets there....the dude is chubby, not athletic like he said, scruffy, beard unkept. strike one!
so we go in (we met at fridays) sit at the bar. no sooner than we sit down the bartender comes over and Geo says ''do u remember me, i was in here with two girls'', bartender says ''i think so'' so now Geo says '' yea u were flirting with me, uh huh, u were flirting with me then''. Now I've met this bartender, he's nice to everyone and far from gay. bartender looks at me, im looking at dude like wtf? and Geo keeps going despite the bartender saying ''really, i think u have the wrong person"
Geo goes on telling the waitress and what not... he's serious. then im noticing this dude got some tendencies... hands and he talks kinda gayish. i finally ask... wtf was that...to which Geo says i was joking.
me: no u were not.
i tell him to apologize but the bartender doesnt want to hear it. i was so embarrassed i had to leave...... then he tries to kiss me outside.
lawd what is wrong with these men!
Tuesday, April 01, 2008
Love Dies
The more and more i get hurt from love the more I ask...what the hell is the point? Everything is temporary... Why love a person, thing, pet when they all die and leave and you're just left with pain?
My Nero is my sweetheart, my little man and now I have to put him to sleep. People tell me why get bent out of shape? B/c despite people, Nero loves me unconditionally. I never owed him an explanation for anything i did, or living my life, I was never the bad guy when I disciplined him and when i was in pain, he would jump on my bed and be my teddy bear. He was only a puppy and I couldn't protect him. So excuse me while i morn my sweetheart.
I went from hopeful, to tearyeyed to make the decision to put him to sleep, to relieved when they didn't, hopeful again and now i'm back to miserable since they will have to put him to sleep...again.
I only hope that he'll be with God and my dad in Heaven.
**I understand not everyone understands what it's like to be so close to a pet and lose them but please don't act like my feelings shouldn't be validated b/c God forbid YOU can't understand.
My Nero is my sweetheart, my little man and now I have to put him to sleep. People tell me why get bent out of shape? B/c despite people, Nero loves me unconditionally. I never owed him an explanation for anything i did, or living my life, I was never the bad guy when I disciplined him and when i was in pain, he would jump on my bed and be my teddy bear. He was only a puppy and I couldn't protect him. So excuse me while i morn my sweetheart.
I went from hopeful, to tearyeyed to make the decision to put him to sleep, to relieved when they didn't, hopeful again and now i'm back to miserable since they will have to put him to sleep...again.
I only hope that he'll be with God and my dad in Heaven.
**I understand not everyone understands what it's like to be so close to a pet and lose them but please don't act like my feelings shouldn't be validated b/c God forbid YOU can't understand.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Crisis Call
At my job we occasionally get a "crisis" call. This means, the person on the line is so distraught we have to transfer them to a professional counselor to talk to ASAP. As an intake Coordinator anyone that sounds like they are in imminent danger to themselves or others, we have to keep them on the phone, notify a supervisor and they will get the on call Licensed Professional Counselor.
On Friday, I got my first Crisis call. Now although he wasn't about to kill himself or anyone else, this particular gentleman began having a panic attack and was completely out of meds. He was on anxiety pills, anti-depressants and God knows what else. This poor gentleman totally broke down over the phone. while my supervisor called the On Call LPC, I was able to calm him down back to normal. The LPC who listened in to the tail end of my covno w/ panic man told me what a good job i did....
YAY! so it is sinking in
On Friday, I got my first Crisis call. Now although he wasn't about to kill himself or anyone else, this particular gentleman began having a panic attack and was completely out of meds. He was on anxiety pills, anti-depressants and God knows what else. This poor gentleman totally broke down over the phone. while my supervisor called the On Call LPC, I was able to calm him down back to normal. The LPC who listened in to the tail end of my covno w/ panic man told me what a good job i did....
YAY! so it is sinking in
Friday, March 07, 2008
No time for blogging
unfortunately I've been so busy I haven't had time to write. Shame on me, I know. my job doesn't really give me enough time to put my thoughts on the screen and school has me tired most of the time i just pass out when i get home. These are just excuses
Really I've had fantastic blogs in my head but they haven't been jotted down. So let me catch you up with whats going on. School is good, could be better since I got a B+ in my last class, but that prof was ANAL. Right now I've doubled up and I'm taking two classes. One evening class meets Monday and Wednesday, the other a weekend class is online mostly and you meet for one weekend; Friday 6-10, Saturday 9-5 and Sunday 9-3. Not as easy as i once thought.
My job is what it is....a job. nothing special, just dealing w/ people day in and day out. Management is on us at all times and it's getting tired fast. Jason said just work until 6 months and then get fired. LOL I'm in school anyway, i don't need the hassle.
Living w/ my brother is cool. I have a built in support system and best friends (the dogs are the bestest friends you could have).
On the dating/love side... Coach is still around. Although he will be moving, I like talking and chilling with him. He's cool peeps and we have a lot in common.
I am chit chatting with someone else... I'm not going to name him yet until after a second date. He's nice and easy to talk to but again he's someone who is not always readily available for me...meaning distance not that he's not single. What is it with me meeting guys who are unavailable?
Other than that, my momma's here for the weekend so i'ma get my lovin' in
and we'll see what happens w./ the new guy
Really I've had fantastic blogs in my head but they haven't been jotted down. So let me catch you up with whats going on. School is good, could be better since I got a B+ in my last class, but that prof was ANAL. Right now I've doubled up and I'm taking two classes. One evening class meets Monday and Wednesday, the other a weekend class is online mostly and you meet for one weekend; Friday 6-10, Saturday 9-5 and Sunday 9-3. Not as easy as i once thought.
My job is what it is....a job. nothing special, just dealing w/ people day in and day out. Management is on us at all times and it's getting tired fast. Jason said just work until 6 months and then get fired. LOL I'm in school anyway, i don't need the hassle.
Living w/ my brother is cool. I have a built in support system and best friends (the dogs are the bestest friends you could have).
On the dating/love side... Coach is still around. Although he will be moving, I like talking and chilling with him. He's cool peeps and we have a lot in common.
I am chit chatting with someone else... I'm not going to name him yet until after a second date. He's nice and easy to talk to but again he's someone who is not always readily available for me...meaning distance not that he's not single. What is it with me meeting guys who are unavailable?
Other than that, my momma's here for the weekend so i'ma get my lovin' in
and we'll see what happens w./ the new guy
Monday, January 21, 2008
Minivans
Now I've always said "do not drive behind minivans"... they are slow and annoying and don't follow the understood traffic patterns. And they prove me right every freaking time.
Minivan drivers, why do you insist on driving in the fastest lane 20 miles slower than everyone else? It makes no sense, you don't have the pickup, you probably have more weight than the rest of us, but yet you feel the best lane for you is the left one....
Do you not notice all the cars lining up behind you? Do you not see how everyone has to go around you to pass you...If you must yell at the kids in the third row, do it from the second to right lane and let us be on our way...
Minivan drivers, realize you are no longer in a sports car, sedan or SUV, you are a minivan driver....accept it and let us be!
Minivan drivers, why do you insist on driving in the fastest lane 20 miles slower than everyone else? It makes no sense, you don't have the pickup, you probably have more weight than the rest of us, but yet you feel the best lane for you is the left one....
Do you not notice all the cars lining up behind you? Do you not see how everyone has to go around you to pass you...If you must yell at the kids in the third row, do it from the second to right lane and let us be on our way...
Minivan drivers, realize you are no longer in a sports car, sedan or SUV, you are a minivan driver....accept it and let us be!
Monday, January 14, 2008
Same Ish...different month
what's going on...not a damn thing. my mini Christmas vaca was busy with helping a friend move, showing my cousins around, visiting ppl... but still, I was happy to come back to ATL where life is a bit calmer.
Coach FINALLY moved back to ATL and we had a nice lil' homecoming LOL...Innocent enough but I finally got my kiss that was really good.
now i'm back to school and back to work (not really enjoying the second one) and not getting a part-time job, b/c my school work load is a bit heavy this semester... i need to concentrate on the A's.
Work is stressful with the OT I'm doing b/c of open enrollment.... by Friday my co-workers and I are exhausted and it's written all over everyone face.
I'm taking a day or two in Feb. One for sure when my homegirls come to visit.
Oh well, back to work :(
Coach FINALLY moved back to ATL and we had a nice lil' homecoming LOL...Innocent enough but I finally got my kiss that was really good.
now i'm back to school and back to work (not really enjoying the second one) and not getting a part-time job, b/c my school work load is a bit heavy this semester... i need to concentrate on the A's.
Work is stressful with the OT I'm doing b/c of open enrollment.... by Friday my co-workers and I are exhausted and it's written all over everyone face.
I'm taking a day or two in Feb. One for sure when my homegirls come to visit.
Oh well, back to work :(
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)