my ex called....the one i thought could be the one.
a little background... a couple of years ago, my co-worker asked me and a friend of mine, what it was we wanted in a guy. I stated quite a bit of qualities, both physical characteristics as well as mental and spiritual. basically i wanted a man's man, physically built with some baby fat (i'm a bit of a chubby chaser), a man who took charge. A couple of days later, i met Randy, everything that was on my list. We met at my favorite pool hall and he worked right next door in my favorite dress shop and we never crossed paths until that night. I guess all of the co-incidences led to what seemed like a destined romance...however four months into the relationship be began to withdraw with the classic line "I'm going through something" however, he never told me what it was he was going through. After a couple of weeks i got tired of waiting around for him to feel better, so i broke it off.
We kept dating or at least having a physical relationship afterwards for a couple of months. One day i worked up the nerve to ask him to escort me to a wedding of an old friend of mine (my ex was the best man so i had to look good) and he told me he couldn't b/c he was with someone and it wouldn't be appropriate. I said ok and asked about his girl and then the world stopped when he told me, "she's my wife". I was heavy into weddings at the time, i just wanted to meet someone, get married and start a family and since he wanted the same thing i thought we were on the way so for us to break it off and he got married to someone else within a month, not only hurt, it felt like someone stabbed me over and over again until i just had to hang up the phone.
Over the next year he called sparatically asking about my relationship, my life etc... i always asked him why call? we were ex's, your wife wouldn't appreciate this etc etc. he would brag about his wife (which all seemed like lies). Finally, while on vacation in March 2006, he called from in front of my house (thank GOD i wasn't there) I told him i was engaged so he would back off, instead he told me he was buying a two family house and why don't my fiance and i rent out the bottom apt. I finally told him in no uncertain words, leave me alone, go home to your pregnant wife and let me live my life without interruption.
SO it's been over a year and i haven't even thought about him. I've been happy, I've moved twice and I've changed jobs twice and gone back to school. I'm happy doing what i have to do...so of course, it's time for him to call. While i was at work on a particularly busy night, i answered my ringing phone thinking it was my friend calling me back...instead a male voice answered asking if i recognized him... after yelling at whoever it was on the phone he said his name...and the world paused again, this time from annoying shock. WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM MY LIFE?
i called him back after work, which was pretty late. he asked only about me, and i got the sense of something under his voice. so i asked him "hows married life?" apparently it wasn't everything he thought it would be, his kid was 13 months... i smell divorce in his future but i didn't say that out loud. he asked if i was happy.... and i was all too happy to say yes. I may be away from Garette, but i love him, living with him (very much like married life) seemed to have the opposite effect from Randy's situation. the best part.... I felt nothing. he didn't make me happy, make me wonder what it would have been like, nothing. he is nothing to me and that's great.
incidentally i also heard from two other ex's the same night....
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