After a long day of shopping and driving ppl around the city, we prepare to go back home to Brooklyn. Showing off our latest shopping finds from Canal Street and 34th street, we are relaxed and about 20 min away from our destination when a light comes on the dashboard. A simple (!) and a sign appears "Tire pressure low". Confused since i felt no difference, at the light I get out in the rain and it's not until i go around the back of the car when i see it, the rear passenger tire is as flat as a pancake.
Great
I pull over on a busy street and tell my aunt to call the rental car service #, then spring into action. I've been driving since i was 13 and there were certain things my father, brother and grandfather thought i should know.... How to jump a car, how to check your oil and add if necessary and how to change a tire (the last one courtesy of my big brother). So instantaneously, i take the spare out of the back and ask for assistance from a guy double parked in the car behind me. I haven't changed a tire in years, and these new fangled jacks and lug removers had be confused.
RELUCTANTLY he gets out after he sees me fiddling and noticed it was a car of women two of which were under 18 ( so i guess he figured he wouldn't get mugged). after he pulled out the accessories from the jack i was good to go, and within 30 minutes, the tire was changed and we were back in the car getting warm with hot chocolate. THEN the tow truck came LOL
I was so proud of myself (patting myself on the back), even the tow guy said he would come and grown men would just sit and wait, he was impressed we had it changed already.
You see daddy....I'ma be alright.
Monday, December 31, 2007
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
the joy and gain of food
I keep forgetting my salad....
I hate when things spoil especially when it's' b/c i have a bad memory which just seems to get worse lately.
I went to the docs a couple of weeks ago and apparently I've gained like 15 pounds since i've moved here....15 freakin pounds. So i have to lose that after the new year
I want to look slim and trim again....but i love my food LOL
So to do this i figured i'd buy healthier snacks... Salads, alot more green leafy stuff in my diet which i don't really mind. I need vegetables, some cheese and crackers as a snack and fruit. This is the problem.... I KEEP FORGETTING THEM. So i have healthy stuff in the fridge going bad b/c I'm usually running late in the morning and don't have time to make something.
if i stay to make something i would have to drive to work which means $50 in gas 2-3 times a week and if i leave it means $4-$5 for Bkfst & $7-$8 for lunch...
i could just wake up early but that means me and Will Smith or Jay-z would have to interrupt our time and that ain't happening LOL
So what to do...
I hate when things spoil especially when it's' b/c i have a bad memory which just seems to get worse lately.
I went to the docs a couple of weeks ago and apparently I've gained like 15 pounds since i've moved here....15 freakin pounds. So i have to lose that after the new year
I want to look slim and trim again....but i love my food LOL
So to do this i figured i'd buy healthier snacks... Salads, alot more green leafy stuff in my diet which i don't really mind. I need vegetables, some cheese and crackers as a snack and fruit. This is the problem.... I KEEP FORGETTING THEM. So i have healthy stuff in the fridge going bad b/c I'm usually running late in the morning and don't have time to make something.
if i stay to make something i would have to drive to work which means $50 in gas 2-3 times a week and if i leave it means $4-$5 for Bkfst & $7-$8 for lunch...
i could just wake up early but that means me and Will Smith or Jay-z would have to interrupt our time and that ain't happening LOL
So what to do...
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Christmas in NY
So excited, in 6 short days i'll be home in NY with my mom and extended family to celebrate Christmas. I'll get to see everyone, that's what i'm most excited about. My aunt in Alabama and her family, my uncles and cousins. Normally i get so excited about Christmas but this year, even more so since I don't live there anymore. So I'm counting down the days.
I have a final tomorrow so today is about studying and tomorrow is about finishing that and then I'll be washing my clothes and packing for my trip!
Oh, by the way, this weekend was a co-worker weekend. Friday I went out with some co-workers for dinner which was good. I got to see a different part of them and get the office gossip :)
Then Saturday my other co-worker had a holiday party at her house. Beautifully decorated house, by the by, and great friends. I brought Jason along and we had a great time, he got toasted on all the liquor they had and I was mingling (yes I mingled) with funky people to get the scoop on where to shop for eclectic and different stuff.
Good weekend, Next weekend should be soooo much better.
I have a final tomorrow so today is about studying and tomorrow is about finishing that and then I'll be washing my clothes and packing for my trip!
Oh, by the way, this weekend was a co-worker weekend. Friday I went out with some co-workers for dinner which was good. I got to see a different part of them and get the office gossip :)
Then Saturday my other co-worker had a holiday party at her house. Beautifully decorated house, by the by, and great friends. I brought Jason along and we had a great time, he got toasted on all the liquor they had and I was mingling (yes I mingled) with funky people to get the scoop on where to shop for eclectic and different stuff.
Good weekend, Next weekend should be soooo much better.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Introducing PEANUT!!!
My friend Liz is having a baby. This is Peanut at 12.5 weeks and she's waving. They're not sure she's a girl but i think so... so there ya go!
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Jealousy...really?
yes, i get jealous... unfortunately it has to do with my ex... or at least mostly.
but i can't stand not knowing if I'm the only one. I guess that's where trust comes in but that's something you earn. It doesn't help if the guy you're seeing doesn't give you enough cues like kissing you at the end of a date.
My 2 dates with Coach went well. yes, i can just be paranoid but i can't help it. I used to be with a guy who never hesitated to say what he felt or grab my hand, ass or whatever as an affectionate gesture. Now I'm dating and I have to 'read' the guy to see if he likes me 'in that way'.
So here are cues... i speak to him just about everyday. when he drove up from school to move his things he came straight to me and then went to see his family. We talked until the place shut down that night. We went out for his bday to the drive in, he initiated the move to get closer, hugging me through most of movie 1 and me hugging him through all of movie 2. when i needed help on my paper he sent me slides from presentations he did on the topic....
so is he being a nice guy, or does he like me, cause like i said before, great dates but NO KISS KISS. And when he hugged me....Dang that body is tight! LMAO. but when i looked at his blog, this chick writes comments on his blog.. ("oh you're so genuine...i wish more men were like you").. and she's in the city where he goes to school. Where he is right now....could she be another lady he's dating?
so am i being paranoid?
*and no, i didn't tell him about this blog...
but i can't stand not knowing if I'm the only one. I guess that's where trust comes in but that's something you earn. It doesn't help if the guy you're seeing doesn't give you enough cues like kissing you at the end of a date.
My 2 dates with Coach went well. yes, i can just be paranoid but i can't help it. I used to be with a guy who never hesitated to say what he felt or grab my hand, ass or whatever as an affectionate gesture. Now I'm dating and I have to 'read' the guy to see if he likes me 'in that way'.
So here are cues... i speak to him just about everyday. when he drove up from school to move his things he came straight to me and then went to see his family. We talked until the place shut down that night. We went out for his bday to the drive in, he initiated the move to get closer, hugging me through most of movie 1 and me hugging him through all of movie 2. when i needed help on my paper he sent me slides from presentations he did on the topic....
so is he being a nice guy, or does he like me, cause like i said before, great dates but NO KISS KISS. And when he hugged me....Dang that body is tight! LMAO. but when i looked at his blog, this chick writes comments on his blog.. ("oh you're so genuine...i wish more men were like you").. and she's in the city where he goes to school. Where he is right now....could she be another lady he's dating?
so am i being paranoid?
*and no, i didn't tell him about this blog...
Sunday, November 25, 2007
role reversal
Why is it that when you spell it out for the guy, they say they understand and they're fine with it. Certain situations are like a dream come true for them. NO games, just straight-talk, it is what it is and it's done.
until they become Bitches....
Whining, complaining little girls.... You see Fronts changed overnight. It's funny b/c he supposedly wants to be a rapper but he needs to be the backup dancer. I should save the texts and phone calls I got from him in case he ever makes it. Our 'relationship' was never a consistent one where we spoke every night or even every other night. But suddenly, he wants to know why I don't call and why didn't i see him when i said i 'might'.
see.... not a man.....a bitch, and totally unattractive.
until they become Bitches....
Whining, complaining little girls.... You see Fronts changed overnight. It's funny b/c he supposedly wants to be a rapper but he needs to be the backup dancer. I should save the texts and phone calls I got from him in case he ever makes it. Our 'relationship' was never a consistent one where we spoke every night or even every other night. But suddenly, he wants to know why I don't call and why didn't i see him when i said i 'might'.
see.... not a man.....a bitch, and totally unattractive.
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
a sign or a test
In the past two days, i got called for two job interviews in NY. Now it's been almost a year since I've applied for jobs in NY so something is going on. Is it a sign... I'm not really feeling going back to NY.
Or is it a test? Would I give up my current path for money?
both jobs I would like, One was for event planning (DUH!) in a university (Double DUH) and the other was working in a pre-school with children.... (DANGNAMMIT). Where were these ppl when I was looking for a reason to stay in NY?
what do you think?
Or is it a test? Would I give up my current path for money?
both jobs I would like, One was for event planning (DUH!) in a university (Double DUH) and the other was working in a pre-school with children.... (DANGNAMMIT). Where were these ppl when I was looking for a reason to stay in NY?
what do you think?
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
blahze
Feeling a bit down lately.
Just Blahze
need a pick me up.... I should download some music, that always seems to work.
*sigh*
Just Blahze
need a pick me up.... I should download some music, that always seems to work.
*sigh*
Sunday, November 18, 2007
a different experience
So i had an 'experience' with Fronts....
it was very different and not one that i enjoyed too much. A combination of his style (of which i did not approve of) and not being into it emotionally. Now casually it's something I can turn on and off, but at this point in my life, I don't really want to.
If he would have just stopped being affectionate, things would have gone smoother. But I just had to stop.... and get out of there.
Am I just too old for such 'experiences'? possibly. I want more, from someone who wants more from me... I want to be a friend with someone and have that experience, I don't want to just have an experience I want it to be special each time.
it was very different and not one that i enjoyed too much. A combination of his style (of which i did not approve of) and not being into it emotionally. Now casually it's something I can turn on and off, but at this point in my life, I don't really want to.
If he would have just stopped being affectionate, things would have gone smoother. But I just had to stop.... and get out of there.
Am I just too old for such 'experiences'? possibly. I want more, from someone who wants more from me... I want to be a friend with someone and have that experience, I don't want to just have an experience I want it to be special each time.
Friday, November 16, 2007
Doors are closing and opening all over the place
A very tiring weekend closes out yet another chapter in my life. It's over...finally. I always want him to be around but i guess it can't be in the same capacity and I'm OK with that.
Last Saturday I emptied out my apt... and Sunday we said goodbye. It wasn't under the best of circumstances and it wasn't the kind of goodbye I wanted but it was goodbye.
Sunday was my friends wedding, a different experience but I was almost in tears seeing her walk down the aisle. She was so beautiful and happy. I had to miss the reception to catch a flight and get back home for work in the morning...
I'm working on my own now. This was my first week alone and I think i did pretty well. I know I messed up a couple of times but hopefully it won't be too drastic and I'll have some leeway.
and now the stuff you really want to hear about... the men stuff...
Right now, there are three prospects...
Coach, Fronts and Boss
Coach, I'm interested in for more than just the trivial. he's tall as heck so that will be a first but I don't know how he feels about me. he's always inviting me here and there, and most recently invited me to church with him to ring in the new years. His bday is in two weeks and i think i have an inexpensive gift idea that he would like. Basketball game tix. That way we can have fun, I've never been to a Bball game so that will be cool and it's a date, so i can get a feel of where he's at.
Fronts i met a while back.... real southern dude. A rapper of course but I'm not interested in him for more than.... 'chillin'. I can't figure out his game... if he wants more or not but i know that i don't, so hopefully he's cool with just being a buddy.
The Boss.... real serious dude. I haven't really gotten to know this one too much since I'm so busy lately. and my schedule is bad enough to deal with and me adding 3 guys into the mix. But he's interested in me, likes the chase (as any successful, serious mans man does) so I'm going to stay busy and let him chase...
I know some ppl may say that i need time to heal and i should just lay off guys at the moment, but i disagree. The more that comes out about my former love, the more I realize that i most likely would be grieving over something i thought was there but probably wasn't. A lot of lies for little things means lies for big things as well. and if there's one thing to know about me is that i hate liars.
So I'm cool for now, besides, I'm not the single, dating type of girl. I'm the, "it's winter and i want to snuggle up" type of Lady!
Last Saturday I emptied out my apt... and Sunday we said goodbye. It wasn't under the best of circumstances and it wasn't the kind of goodbye I wanted but it was goodbye.
Sunday was my friends wedding, a different experience but I was almost in tears seeing her walk down the aisle. She was so beautiful and happy. I had to miss the reception to catch a flight and get back home for work in the morning...
I'm working on my own now. This was my first week alone and I think i did pretty well. I know I messed up a couple of times but hopefully it won't be too drastic and I'll have some leeway.
and now the stuff you really want to hear about... the men stuff...
Right now, there are three prospects...
Coach, Fronts and Boss
Coach, I'm interested in for more than just the trivial. he's tall as heck so that will be a first but I don't know how he feels about me. he's always inviting me here and there, and most recently invited me to church with him to ring in the new years. His bday is in two weeks and i think i have an inexpensive gift idea that he would like. Basketball game tix. That way we can have fun, I've never been to a Bball game so that will be cool and it's a date, so i can get a feel of where he's at.
Fronts i met a while back.... real southern dude. A rapper of course but I'm not interested in him for more than.... 'chillin'. I can't figure out his game... if he wants more or not but i know that i don't, so hopefully he's cool with just being a buddy.
The Boss.... real serious dude. I haven't really gotten to know this one too much since I'm so busy lately. and my schedule is bad enough to deal with and me adding 3 guys into the mix. But he's interested in me, likes the chase (as any successful, serious mans man does) so I'm going to stay busy and let him chase...
I know some ppl may say that i need time to heal and i should just lay off guys at the moment, but i disagree. The more that comes out about my former love, the more I realize that i most likely would be grieving over something i thought was there but probably wasn't. A lot of lies for little things means lies for big things as well. and if there's one thing to know about me is that i hate liars.
So I'm cool for now, besides, I'm not the single, dating type of girl. I'm the, "it's winter and i want to snuggle up" type of Lady!
Thursday, November 08, 2007
Why does he make it hard?
why do people do the things they do?
why say you love someone when all you do is end up hurting them?
why make them cry?
I've been asking these questions so much lately, I'm tired of the record. In fact, I'm tired period. I barely have anything left to give anyone, but i will still try b/c not everyone is undeserving. but lately I realize that he is.... he is completely undeserving of my friendship, love or even my attention.
but it's like Ciara says in her song "i can't leave him alone". Not that i want to get back with him, but you don't share your life with someone only to take it back overnight. The bond is still there and probably always will be.
I just really want the best for him. I want him to grow up and be a man. I want him to realize he doesn't have to get over, to get somewhere and to trust himself. I want him to be ok, b/c i know at the end of the day, I will be.
why say you love someone when all you do is end up hurting them?
why make them cry?
I've been asking these questions so much lately, I'm tired of the record. In fact, I'm tired period. I barely have anything left to give anyone, but i will still try b/c not everyone is undeserving. but lately I realize that he is.... he is completely undeserving of my friendship, love or even my attention.
but it's like Ciara says in her song "i can't leave him alone". Not that i want to get back with him, but you don't share your life with someone only to take it back overnight. The bond is still there and probably always will be.
I just really want the best for him. I want him to grow up and be a man. I want him to realize he doesn't have to get over, to get somewhere and to trust himself. I want him to be ok, b/c i know at the end of the day, I will be.
Sunday, November 04, 2007
I can't leave him alone
This breakup just gets uglier and uglier to the point where I can't even recognize the people in the situation. So many others have come on board and gotten involved.....
Garette vs. me, my brother, my mother and now a very close friend shavonne. My big bro couldn't take watching me cry anymore and just held his mouth one last time. This time, i heard yelling in the backyard....He read Garette the riot act. He cursed him out the way my mom has been wanting to for months.
At first I tried to stop him, but I stopped myself. Garette needed to hear it but more importantly, I needed to hear it. It was nothing I didn't know for myself but when you love somebody.... it takes the world to crumble before you can give up on them. Although my world was crumbling... my family wanted to save me before it was unrecognizable anymore.
I know I've been too nice, but I don't know how to be anything else. I honestly don't want to be. I'm mean when i have to be, but with the people i love, i hate being mean to them, which is why i just get quiet.
The crazy, sick thing... after everything we've been through, and he's put me through..... I can't help but still love him.
Garette vs. me, my brother, my mother and now a very close friend shavonne. My big bro couldn't take watching me cry anymore and just held his mouth one last time. This time, i heard yelling in the backyard....He read Garette the riot act. He cursed him out the way my mom has been wanting to for months.
At first I tried to stop him, but I stopped myself. Garette needed to hear it but more importantly, I needed to hear it. It was nothing I didn't know for myself but when you love somebody.... it takes the world to crumble before you can give up on them. Although my world was crumbling... my family wanted to save me before it was unrecognizable anymore.
I know I've been too nice, but I don't know how to be anything else. I honestly don't want to be. I'm mean when i have to be, but with the people i love, i hate being mean to them, which is why i just get quiet.
The crazy, sick thing... after everything we've been through, and he's put me through..... I can't help but still love him.
Thursday, November 01, 2007
The large friendly office
So I'm at my new job as an Intake Coordinator for United Behavioral Health and I'm thinking... this can be cool. It's overwhelming with everything you have to learn. You're working on 5 different systems at one time while on the phone with someone and I'm training on the systems now but i guess I will get used to them once I observe and start taking calls.
This company is a real company. I've always worked for smaller firms and what's so funny is that first impression here is that people like where they work. It reminds me of Lupe's job, everyone is so friendly and happy and smiling and conversing with each other. My first day I was in conversations with people who saw a new face....that's great. Today I have an invitation to hang out with another co-worker (different dept) and her friends at her house anytime i want (not sexual dirty people). My benefits started Thursday and there are so many perks to the job I don't know where to start.
Discounts on my phone bill, new cars and mortgages, you even get perks for doing a good job. My classmate got a bonus for coming within her percentile range and you get bonuses for referring people who eventually got hired. And I'm not talking $50 bonuses, a nice couple of hundred. The Christmas party will be a black tie event....I'm so excited!
Also, now they want me to start taking calls while my mentor ghosts on them... I'm nervous, it's a lot to go over and you know i hate messing up. On a plus, I got an A- in my last class so I'm truly excited and happy. Now to go home and sleep...right after my coverage comes at this second job.
This company is a real company. I've always worked for smaller firms and what's so funny is that first impression here is that people like where they work. It reminds me of Lupe's job, everyone is so friendly and happy and smiling and conversing with each other. My first day I was in conversations with people who saw a new face....that's great. Today I have an invitation to hang out with another co-worker (different dept) and her friends at her house anytime i want (not sexual dirty people). My benefits started Thursday and there are so many perks to the job I don't know where to start.
Discounts on my phone bill, new cars and mortgages, you even get perks for doing a good job. My classmate got a bonus for coming within her percentile range and you get bonuses for referring people who eventually got hired. And I'm not talking $50 bonuses, a nice couple of hundred. The Christmas party will be a black tie event....I'm so excited!
Also, now they want me to start taking calls while my mentor ghosts on them... I'm nervous, it's a lot to go over and you know i hate messing up. On a plus, I got an A- in my last class so I'm truly excited and happy. Now to go home and sleep...right after my coverage comes at this second job.
Saturday, October 27, 2007
updating life
I'm at work, doing my last overnight.... (i never want to be up this late unless I'm coming from a really great party) thinking, how boring this is. I have 2.25 hours until I'm outta here and I couldn't be happier.
Update I- I've been perusing online personal websites (not going to say which one(s)) just slowly getting myself back out there. I don't meet too many people with my schedule (that should change a bit with my new job)... and I don't like clubbing all that much. Either way, I'm not too sure how serious I would take someone I met in the club, just like I'm not too serious about online dating. More so b/c I've been there and done that and it's never really worked.
why am I doing it again? why not. I get to talk to guys from the ATL area, get to know what these guys are like and hopefully they'll put me on to some spots i could hit up. It's all about networking people.
Update II- I start my new job, or at least begin training for it on Monday. Fortunately for me it's a casual environment, so I don't have to buy alot of clothes. I will still work part time at Delta for a maximum of 15 hours a week. I won't keep that schedule (plus two nights of school) for long, especially if I want to be with someone, but for now, it's fine.
and that's basically it for now.
Update I- I've been perusing online personal websites (not going to say which one(s)) just slowly getting myself back out there. I don't meet too many people with my schedule (that should change a bit with my new job)... and I don't like clubbing all that much. Either way, I'm not too sure how serious I would take someone I met in the club, just like I'm not too serious about online dating. More so b/c I've been there and done that and it's never really worked.
why am I doing it again? why not. I get to talk to guys from the ATL area, get to know what these guys are like and hopefully they'll put me on to some spots i could hit up. It's all about networking people.
Update II- I start my new job, or at least begin training for it on Monday. Fortunately for me it's a casual environment, so I don't have to buy alot of clothes. I will still work part time at Delta for a maximum of 15 hours a week. I won't keep that schedule (plus two nights of school) for long, especially if I want to be with someone, but for now, it's fine.
and that's basically it for now.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Mis-Management
So I got a new job (pending drug screening and background check) but basically I got a new job WITH BENEFITS yayayayayayayyayayayay!! Intake Coordinator at United Health Group.
so here's the thing, I told the snotty manager here with no damn experience on how to manage a workplace, that i got a day job and will no longer be able to work the overnight shifts (Not that i care too much since this is day 4 of me not getting paid) and the heifa got an attitude. Of course any manager worth their paychecks would be disappointed to lose a valuable asset such as myself, however, I did not quit; i merely reduced and changed my hours.
I figured I would work two or three nights a week after work basically take over for the guy that quit and one day on the weekend. THIS HEIFA as payback maybe, put me to work on Friday, Saturday and Sunday, meaning I would work 7 days a week PLUS school. Oh you got to be kidding. You got to be off your rocker....crack is wack so why are you still smoking it hun!
So extra money or not.... looks like I'm about to tell Delta to take this job and .... well you know.
The worst part is that i really like my co-workers and that is a first. I get along with all of them, and everyone at Delta but this manager is a dumbass and I have no benefits. Hopefully the staff at UHG will be just as friendly and fun.
so here's the thing, I told the snotty manager here with no damn experience on how to manage a workplace, that i got a day job and will no longer be able to work the overnight shifts (Not that i care too much since this is day 4 of me not getting paid) and the heifa got an attitude. Of course any manager worth their paychecks would be disappointed to lose a valuable asset such as myself, however, I did not quit; i merely reduced and changed my hours.
I figured I would work two or three nights a week after work basically take over for the guy that quit and one day on the weekend. THIS HEIFA as payback maybe, put me to work on Friday, Saturday and Sunday, meaning I would work 7 days a week PLUS school. Oh you got to be kidding. You got to be off your rocker....crack is wack so why are you still smoking it hun!
So extra money or not.... looks like I'm about to tell Delta to take this job and .... well you know.
The worst part is that i really like my co-workers and that is a first. I get along with all of them, and everyone at Delta but this manager is a dumbass and I have no benefits. Hopefully the staff at UHG will be just as friendly and fun.
Monday, October 15, 2007
The end of what was...begnning of what will be
I guess i have alot of explaining to do...
so much has happened and it seemed if i didn't write it down i could avoid feeling it for that much longer but i can't put it off anymore. Garette and I broke up... No one cheated or anything like that, it was an argument that was way blown out of proportion, but because of it, we are no longer together.
I think the stress of being apart, not fully trying to understand each other and him being a buggart just got to be too much and that was all she wrote. It's been hard to deal with especially knowing the path we were on and reading the past blogs i've written. I did and i do still love him and we talk often on the phone but we will not be getting back together....
So this lady is single again after almost two years, in a new city and beginning to get used to the idea of dating again. This should make for some good stories!
so much has happened and it seemed if i didn't write it down i could avoid feeling it for that much longer but i can't put it off anymore. Garette and I broke up... No one cheated or anything like that, it was an argument that was way blown out of proportion, but because of it, we are no longer together.
I think the stress of being apart, not fully trying to understand each other and him being a buggart just got to be too much and that was all she wrote. It's been hard to deal with especially knowing the path we were on and reading the past blogs i've written. I did and i do still love him and we talk often on the phone but we will not be getting back together....
So this lady is single again after almost two years, in a new city and beginning to get used to the idea of dating again. This should make for some good stories!
Saturday, August 18, 2007
dreamin'
my dreams have always been weird but since i've been in Atl, they've become weirder. i've dreamed about alot of people from my past, having a high school reunion or a romantic relationship with someone i probably haven't spoken to in months or years.
Last night, it was a who's who in my life. it took place in what was supposed to be my aunts basement. All of my friends, plus old friends, old crushes, and exes were there. wer were having a party and ordered liquor (no food i can remember, just liquor). An old crush i called teddy bear gave me a stack ($1000) to buy liquor with and of course Garette being jealous matched this, so we had more than enough liquor to go around. Garette was there and apparently we were still living together but I was now with his friend (which wouldn't happen cause his friend is too small for me). it was just weird seeing everyone there (most dont get along with each other) in one place... maybe i'm missing home.
I'll be home soon
Last night, it was a who's who in my life. it took place in what was supposed to be my aunts basement. All of my friends, plus old friends, old crushes, and exes were there. wer were having a party and ordered liquor (no food i can remember, just liquor). An old crush i called teddy bear gave me a stack ($1000) to buy liquor with and of course Garette being jealous matched this, so we had more than enough liquor to go around. Garette was there and apparently we were still living together but I was now with his friend (which wouldn't happen cause his friend is too small for me). it was just weird seeing everyone there (most dont get along with each other) in one place... maybe i'm missing home.
I'll be home soon
Saturday, August 11, 2007
not so fairy tale-ish
You ever felt ready for something but the timing was off? I'm ready for so much but it's not the right time. Biologically speaking, i'm not hearing any ticking clocks but I can feel it. I feel like i'm missing something on my left hand. I wear my ring on my right middle finger but so often i feel like there's a ring on my left hand and i took it off or something...its a weird feeling especially since i never wear rings on my left...actually i did once....
My ex and I (a good ex, not an asshole) got into a conversation about why women fantasize in relationships or have this fairy tale perception of relationships and i have to admit, throughout my relationship with him, that was a big reason for fights... I imagined what the relationship should be. What he should do (attributed to watching too much tv) when we argue, things he should say. I thought relationships were supposed to be romantic all the time....boy was i wrong. i looked for the overt romantic gestures instead of realizing the things he did everyday that were just because he loved me.
I wore a ring with my ex, on my left ring finger b/c we were "so in love". I told him it was b/c i was tired of getting hit on by men, so this would drive them off...but i knew what i wanted and it was too much pressure on him. this time i feel the pressure on myself and there's no way i want to transfer it to Garette. Everyone asks the "when are you guys getting married" question and i feel funny about it. Why ask if i don't have a ring on my finger? A ring is an indicator and obviously i don't have one so leave it alone.
I guess whoever he is currently with has that romantic/fairy tale bug and I've finally realized what it's truly about. Romantic gestures are nice , too many would freak me out, but i know when Garette cooks, it's because he knows I'm tired and hungry, when he sees me tossing and turning, he turns down the volume of the television, or he doesn't work in his computer programs late at night b/c the noises would wake me up. It's the compromise or the little gestures that you need to be clued into.
I do feel ready for that step... more than ready, but it's not the right time....
sucks.
My ex and I (a good ex, not an asshole) got into a conversation about why women fantasize in relationships or have this fairy tale perception of relationships and i have to admit, throughout my relationship with him, that was a big reason for fights... I imagined what the relationship should be. What he should do (attributed to watching too much tv) when we argue, things he should say. I thought relationships were supposed to be romantic all the time....boy was i wrong. i looked for the overt romantic gestures instead of realizing the things he did everyday that were just because he loved me.
I wore a ring with my ex, on my left ring finger b/c we were "so in love". I told him it was b/c i was tired of getting hit on by men, so this would drive them off...but i knew what i wanted and it was too much pressure on him. this time i feel the pressure on myself and there's no way i want to transfer it to Garette. Everyone asks the "when are you guys getting married" question and i feel funny about it. Why ask if i don't have a ring on my finger? A ring is an indicator and obviously i don't have one so leave it alone.
I guess whoever he is currently with has that romantic/fairy tale bug and I've finally realized what it's truly about. Romantic gestures are nice , too many would freak me out, but i know when Garette cooks, it's because he knows I'm tired and hungry, when he sees me tossing and turning, he turns down the volume of the television, or he doesn't work in his computer programs late at night b/c the noises would wake me up. It's the compromise or the little gestures that you need to be clued into.
I do feel ready for that step... more than ready, but it's not the right time....
sucks.
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
to be or not to be with AC
When i bought the car, the A/C was broken... of course the seller gave the impression that it was just the a/c compressor, not too hard to fix. I've been without air conditioning in the car for about a month now, and i was good until 90+ degree weather hit feeling more like 112. I can't stand it anymore, so I take the car for an estimate....
and wait three hours.... I knew an Infiniti would have a heavy cost associated with it, but who the hell knew it would be $1400 to fix the a/c system? Not I said the cat.
I don't have $1400. I don't even have $400. This is a disaster. I'm really thinking of taking the train today, although I don't think i would enjoy waiting for the bus at school just to get back to the train station after class is over. that was not fun the last time and i ended up walking with no bus in sight.
so, should i take off at 4:30 and take the train, or do 80 on the highway to catch the warm air through the car just so i don't have any crazies asking me to buy bootlegs? decisions decisions...
and wait three hours.... I knew an Infiniti would have a heavy cost associated with it, but who the hell knew it would be $1400 to fix the a/c system? Not I said the cat.
I don't have $1400. I don't even have $400. This is a disaster. I'm really thinking of taking the train today, although I don't think i would enjoy waiting for the bus at school just to get back to the train station after class is over. that was not fun the last time and i ended up walking with no bus in sight.
so, should i take off at 4:30 and take the train, or do 80 on the highway to catch the warm air through the car just so i don't have any crazies asking me to buy bootlegs? decisions decisions...
Thursday, August 02, 2007
Simpsonize yourself
That's me as a Simpsons character. I think I'm cute as a cartoon LOL. I've been meaning to do this for a while but only now got around to it.see how you look as a cartoon.
anyway...off to get info on my research paper.
Saturday, July 28, 2007
They're biting
The worst part about living down south....the bugs are horrendous... i also live in the country so to speak. I bet the bugs wouldn't be so present in the city but if i wanted to live the city life, i'd move back home. Here, you can go outside for just a couple of minutes and end up with enough mosquito bites to play connect the dots.
I had to have Garette run off a huge water bug and then while driving one crawled across the front of my car. if anyone knows me, they would know that i would pull a car over if that damn thing got into the car.
One more thing, when it rains in NY, it rains all day, nothing too serious... in Georgia, while driving home from school, it was a variable rain storm so bad i had to pull off the road b/c i couldn't see two feet in front of me. the amazing thing is watching how fast people still drive in the middle of all that. and fifteen minutes later and 9 miles down the road, it's as dry as an Arizona desert.
that's my life right now, bugs, sparatic rain and alot of itching.
I had to have Garette run off a huge water bug and then while driving one crawled across the front of my car. if anyone knows me, they would know that i would pull a car over if that damn thing got into the car.
One more thing, when it rains in NY, it rains all day, nothing too serious... in Georgia, while driving home from school, it was a variable rain storm so bad i had to pull off the road b/c i couldn't see two feet in front of me. the amazing thing is watching how fast people still drive in the middle of all that. and fifteen minutes later and 9 miles down the road, it's as dry as an Arizona desert.
that's my life right now, bugs, sparatic rain and alot of itching.
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
blast from the past
my ex called....the one i thought could be the one.
a little background... a couple of years ago, my co-worker asked me and a friend of mine, what it was we wanted in a guy. I stated quite a bit of qualities, both physical characteristics as well as mental and spiritual. basically i wanted a man's man, physically built with some baby fat (i'm a bit of a chubby chaser), a man who took charge. A couple of days later, i met Randy, everything that was on my list. We met at my favorite pool hall and he worked right next door in my favorite dress shop and we never crossed paths until that night. I guess all of the co-incidences led to what seemed like a destined romance...however four months into the relationship be began to withdraw with the classic line "I'm going through something" however, he never told me what it was he was going through. After a couple of weeks i got tired of waiting around for him to feel better, so i broke it off.
We kept dating or at least having a physical relationship afterwards for a couple of months. One day i worked up the nerve to ask him to escort me to a wedding of an old friend of mine (my ex was the best man so i had to look good) and he told me he couldn't b/c he was with someone and it wouldn't be appropriate. I said ok and asked about his girl and then the world stopped when he told me, "she's my wife". I was heavy into weddings at the time, i just wanted to meet someone, get married and start a family and since he wanted the same thing i thought we were on the way so for us to break it off and he got married to someone else within a month, not only hurt, it felt like someone stabbed me over and over again until i just had to hang up the phone.
Over the next year he called sparatically asking about my relationship, my life etc... i always asked him why call? we were ex's, your wife wouldn't appreciate this etc etc. he would brag about his wife (which all seemed like lies). Finally, while on vacation in March 2006, he called from in front of my house (thank GOD i wasn't there) I told him i was engaged so he would back off, instead he told me he was buying a two family house and why don't my fiance and i rent out the bottom apt. I finally told him in no uncertain words, leave me alone, go home to your pregnant wife and let me live my life without interruption.
SO it's been over a year and i haven't even thought about him. I've been happy, I've moved twice and I've changed jobs twice and gone back to school. I'm happy doing what i have to do...so of course, it's time for him to call. While i was at work on a particularly busy night, i answered my ringing phone thinking it was my friend calling me back...instead a male voice answered asking if i recognized him... after yelling at whoever it was on the phone he said his name...and the world paused again, this time from annoying shock. WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM MY LIFE?
i called him back after work, which was pretty late. he asked only about me, and i got the sense of something under his voice. so i asked him "hows married life?" apparently it wasn't everything he thought it would be, his kid was 13 months... i smell divorce in his future but i didn't say that out loud. he asked if i was happy.... and i was all too happy to say yes. I may be away from Garette, but i love him, living with him (very much like married life) seemed to have the opposite effect from Randy's situation. the best part.... I felt nothing. he didn't make me happy, make me wonder what it would have been like, nothing. he is nothing to me and that's great.
incidentally i also heard from two other ex's the same night....
a little background... a couple of years ago, my co-worker asked me and a friend of mine, what it was we wanted in a guy. I stated quite a bit of qualities, both physical characteristics as well as mental and spiritual. basically i wanted a man's man, physically built with some baby fat (i'm a bit of a chubby chaser), a man who took charge. A couple of days later, i met Randy, everything that was on my list. We met at my favorite pool hall and he worked right next door in my favorite dress shop and we never crossed paths until that night. I guess all of the co-incidences led to what seemed like a destined romance...however four months into the relationship be began to withdraw with the classic line "I'm going through something" however, he never told me what it was he was going through. After a couple of weeks i got tired of waiting around for him to feel better, so i broke it off.
We kept dating or at least having a physical relationship afterwards for a couple of months. One day i worked up the nerve to ask him to escort me to a wedding of an old friend of mine (my ex was the best man so i had to look good) and he told me he couldn't b/c he was with someone and it wouldn't be appropriate. I said ok and asked about his girl and then the world stopped when he told me, "she's my wife". I was heavy into weddings at the time, i just wanted to meet someone, get married and start a family and since he wanted the same thing i thought we were on the way so for us to break it off and he got married to someone else within a month, not only hurt, it felt like someone stabbed me over and over again until i just had to hang up the phone.
Over the next year he called sparatically asking about my relationship, my life etc... i always asked him why call? we were ex's, your wife wouldn't appreciate this etc etc. he would brag about his wife (which all seemed like lies). Finally, while on vacation in March 2006, he called from in front of my house (thank GOD i wasn't there) I told him i was engaged so he would back off, instead he told me he was buying a two family house and why don't my fiance and i rent out the bottom apt. I finally told him in no uncertain words, leave me alone, go home to your pregnant wife and let me live my life without interruption.
SO it's been over a year and i haven't even thought about him. I've been happy, I've moved twice and I've changed jobs twice and gone back to school. I'm happy doing what i have to do...so of course, it's time for him to call. While i was at work on a particularly busy night, i answered my ringing phone thinking it was my friend calling me back...instead a male voice answered asking if i recognized him... after yelling at whoever it was on the phone he said his name...and the world paused again, this time from annoying shock. WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM MY LIFE?
i called him back after work, which was pretty late. he asked only about me, and i got the sense of something under his voice. so i asked him "hows married life?" apparently it wasn't everything he thought it would be, his kid was 13 months... i smell divorce in his future but i didn't say that out loud. he asked if i was happy.... and i was all too happy to say yes. I may be away from Garette, but i love him, living with him (very much like married life) seemed to have the opposite effect from Randy's situation. the best part.... I felt nothing. he didn't make me happy, make me wonder what it would have been like, nothing. he is nothing to me and that's great.
incidentally i also heard from two other ex's the same night....
Monday, July 23, 2007
i had a plan
i had a plan to go to the library all day, study until 6 then take my midterm, ace it and come home to my baby to celebrate (if you know what i mean...ma, i mean by eating ;)). things are not going according to plan.
Not realizing his id expired on his bday, Garette couldn't make the train. Compounding matters was the fact that someone at his friends house where he was staying in NC, stole his money out of his bag. Not cool. So i have to wait yet another day so he can take the bus, b/c Greyhound is totally anonymous. Meaning I could probably still celebrate in the wee hours of the AM.
Then, my prescription which was left in NY, CVS has to now fill for me which will be expensive since i'm not on insurance and unlike NY which takes about 20 min or less to fill it, they need an hour so i won't be leaving the house for another hour to study in the library AND depending on traffic, it can take me 40-60 minutes to get up to school. (i do love the fact that it takes me only 10 minutes to get to work...BIG change from NY)
Am i worried? not really, i take information in pretty well and i read fast. Plus my professor is so kind as to summarize everything on powerpoint slides when he's lecturing in class and prints out copies for us all to have.... that wonderful man!
So wish me luck... i don't know what it is but i'm never ever able to study at home.
Not realizing his id expired on his bday, Garette couldn't make the train. Compounding matters was the fact that someone at his friends house where he was staying in NC, stole his money out of his bag. Not cool. So i have to wait yet another day so he can take the bus, b/c Greyhound is totally anonymous. Meaning I could probably still celebrate in the wee hours of the AM.
Then, my prescription which was left in NY, CVS has to now fill for me which will be expensive since i'm not on insurance and unlike NY which takes about 20 min or less to fill it, they need an hour so i won't be leaving the house for another hour to study in the library AND depending on traffic, it can take me 40-60 minutes to get up to school. (i do love the fact that it takes me only 10 minutes to get to work...BIG change from NY)
Am i worried? not really, i take information in pretty well and i read fast. Plus my professor is so kind as to summarize everything on powerpoint slides when he's lecturing in class and prints out copies for us all to have.... that wonderful man!
So wish me luck... i don't know what it is but i'm never ever able to study at home.
Saturday, July 21, 2007
coming off the midnight high
i just worked my first overnight...and they put me to work by myself. I thought i would have had someone to bug out with and keep me company, instead i was all by my lonesome messing up stuff (was fixed eventually) and trying my best not to drop to sleep in the middle of 'mission control center'. 11pm to 7am is not whats it cracked up to be and I'm going to need allot more snacks to be able to handle it all. but i did handle it and by quarter to 8 i was headed home, head nodding to fantasia on the radio.
but now it's 1:34 and i haven't been able to sleep much since i got home although the bags under my eyes say i really need to. Sunday i have an 11pm-3am shift which should be a little better. Just have to get enough mommi time in today since she's leaving tomorrow afternoon...
side not: can you believe I'm paying more in insurance down here than i was in NY? I-effing-ronic!
but now it's 1:34 and i haven't been able to sleep much since i got home although the bags under my eyes say i really need to. Sunday i have an 11pm-3am shift which should be a little better. Just have to get enough mommi time in today since she's leaving tomorrow afternoon...
side not: can you believe I'm paying more in insurance down here than i was in NY? I-effing-ronic!
Saturday, July 14, 2007
atl update
everyone wants to know how i'm doing so let me tell you
I've got a job as you may have read in previous posts, Crew Accommodations for Delta Airlines. It's part time to give me the flexibility with school and getting back into the swing of things. I'm in training right now so i'm getting used to coding and scheduling etc. that's all i can say about that due to confidentiality policies.
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I bought a car... i needed an automatic to get around b/c using my brothers Porsche, as much as it makes me look glamorous, is not practical. It was cool though but all his other cars were stick shift and i don't know how to drive those. Now i have an Infinity Q45. it needs minor work but it's mine and i'm thrilled.
and i now i have a pup... he'll probably be my brothers puppy since he follows Vita and Vita follows Jason. His name is Nero and right now he spends alot of time in the cage since he gets too excited and has little accidents. He looks just like Vita, grey with lighter eyes and white patches....jpg)
So that's it for now...company's here, gotta be personable.
I've got a job as you may have read in previous posts, Crew Accommodations for Delta Airlines. It's part time to give me the flexibility with school and getting back into the swing of things. I'm in training right now so i'm getting used to coding and scheduling etc. that's all i can say about that due to confidentiality policies.
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I bought a car... i needed an automatic to get around b/c using my brothers Porsche, as much as it makes me look glamorous, is not practical. It was cool though but all his other cars were stick shift and i don't know how to drive those. Now i have an Infinity Q45. it needs minor work but it's mine and i'm thrilled.and i now i have a pup... he'll probably be my brothers puppy since he follows Vita and Vita follows Jason. His name is Nero and right now he spends alot of time in the cage since he gets too excited and has little accidents. He looks just like Vita, grey with lighter eyes and white patches...
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So that's it for now...company's here, gotta be personable.
Friday, July 06, 2007
I did get it
So I did get the job and i start training on Sunday. Go me, go me... 2-3 weeks and now i got a job.
I think i did, i think i did
So i think i got a job LOL... not quite sure.
I went on an interview yesterday, my second in Atlanta. Responses haven't been good, in fact, they haven't been at all. My resume is of course perfect for a administrative professional, but that's not what I'm looking for. Customer Service, Non-profit and Day care are all the fields I'm looking for, but since I don't have the experience, I'm not ideal.
This position must not have had a lot of responses... because they called me. It's a third shift position 7pm - 3am, or 11pm - 7am. Hospitality company making crew reservations and reservations for distressed passengers. They called me back the same day to ask me to come in Friday night for two hours to see how it goes and if i would want the job. Then the lady said "I won't be here Friday, but I'll see you Monday". So i guess I got the job.
It's part-time, so I'll be able to have the flexibility i need for school and they'll also be flexible for me going home for long weekends and what not.
ehhh, we'll see how i like it tonight. I would have to get adjusted to the nightlife. I love sleeping at night. I don't mind the 7-3, it's the 11-7 that will kill me.
I went on an interview yesterday, my second in Atlanta. Responses haven't been good, in fact, they haven't been at all. My resume is of course perfect for a administrative professional, but that's not what I'm looking for. Customer Service, Non-profit and Day care are all the fields I'm looking for, but since I don't have the experience, I'm not ideal.
This position must not have had a lot of responses... because they called me. It's a third shift position 7pm - 3am, or 11pm - 7am. Hospitality company making crew reservations and reservations for distressed passengers. They called me back the same day to ask me to come in Friday night for two hours to see how it goes and if i would want the job. Then the lady said "I won't be here Friday, but I'll see you Monday". So i guess I got the job.
It's part-time, so I'll be able to have the flexibility i need for school and they'll also be flexible for me going home for long weekends and what not.
ehhh, we'll see how i like it tonight. I would have to get adjusted to the nightlife. I love sleeping at night. I don't mind the 7-3, it's the 11-7 that will kill me.
Monday, July 02, 2007
Money where art thou
You know the worst part about looking for a job... You work all day, stare at a computer or newspaper circling prospects, sending out resumes, filling out forms (which incidentally they can just look at your damn resume and figure out lazy ass ppl) and you get tired like you would any normal job... you just don't get paid.
Gosh i miss regular income. It's only been a few weeks (2 weeks to be exact) but i'm broke. Moving costs a lot of money of which i have none. My vacation pay which was supposed to be put into my account on Saturday with everyone else's payroll was NOT, prompting me to send a sarcastic email (can't get ignorant when someone else is controlling the flow of your funds) to the COO and founder of my last job. Simple consideration would have dictated paying out the vacation pay on the last day like any other normal job. Intelligence would have done it when they said they would (June 30th payroll) but stupidness says "Uh we forgot"... I hate stupid people. Ignorance you can fix with knowledge, stupidness...there is no cure for.
My financial aid has been disbursed to my school however, my school has not yet applied it to my account so they can send the remainder to me.... how thoughtful. My car insurance was due yesterday, my other accounts are coming due soon and i still have NO JOB.
other than that i'm fine :)
Gosh i miss regular income. It's only been a few weeks (2 weeks to be exact) but i'm broke. Moving costs a lot of money of which i have none. My vacation pay which was supposed to be put into my account on Saturday with everyone else's payroll was NOT, prompting me to send a sarcastic email (can't get ignorant when someone else is controlling the flow of your funds) to the COO and founder of my last job. Simple consideration would have dictated paying out the vacation pay on the last day like any other normal job. Intelligence would have done it when they said they would (June 30th payroll) but stupidness says "Uh we forgot"... I hate stupid people. Ignorance you can fix with knowledge, stupidness...there is no cure for.
My financial aid has been disbursed to my school however, my school has not yet applied it to my account so they can send the remainder to me.... how thoughtful. My car insurance was due yesterday, my other accounts are coming due soon and i still have NO JOB.
other than that i'm fine :)
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
long distance hugs
I tossed and turned.... so did he.
This living apart thing is not easy. it's only been a couple of days but it's hard when you're accustomed to the same person every day and night. I wondered if it's co-dependency... but I don't think that's it.
I've kept busy in the beginning, painting my room, sponging one wall, driving here and there. Kept myself so busy i was tired and ready to fall asleep every night... until Tuesday night. Being in the house alone, emptying more boxes, reality slapped me in the face and i broke down crying. I would be coming home at this time, getting off the train and walking to my apartment only to be greeted by cooked food a kiss and a teddy bear when i wanted to cuddle.
sleeping is hard, thinking is harder and hearing his voice so far away is the hardest. hearing how sad he feels is extremely difficult. wanting to hug him and knowing i can't hurts like hell, so i give him long distance kisses and non-transferable promises to suffice until we see each other again.
such is sacrifice.
This living apart thing is not easy. it's only been a couple of days but it's hard when you're accustomed to the same person every day and night. I wondered if it's co-dependency... but I don't think that's it.
I've kept busy in the beginning, painting my room, sponging one wall, driving here and there. Kept myself so busy i was tired and ready to fall asleep every night... until Tuesday night. Being in the house alone, emptying more boxes, reality slapped me in the face and i broke down crying. I would be coming home at this time, getting off the train and walking to my apartment only to be greeted by cooked food a kiss and a teddy bear when i wanted to cuddle.
sleeping is hard, thinking is harder and hearing his voice so far away is the hardest. hearing how sad he feels is extremely difficult. wanting to hug him and knowing i can't hurts like hell, so i give him long distance kisses and non-transferable promises to suffice until we see each other again.
such is sacrifice.
Thursday, June 21, 2007
my cup runneth over
it's been a while, but it's been busy.
Last week, I had lunch with my execs, dinner with co-workers and a surprise party from my office. It was quite an event i must say. I have never felt so much a part of the company as i did that day. Not to mention they quickly hired someone to replace me that for the day i trained her, seemed to be an idiot. But that is no longer my problem.
Listening to the founder make a short speech about my time in the company (14.5 months) and how valuable i was, i tried my best to keep it together. Nonetheless, i cried. My first real cry about moving and it happened in front of everyone (mostly everyone) in my office. I couldn't' believe i would have such emotions but there they were. I even got gifts. How cool. After work, i took my new school bag and items given to me and went for drinks with more co-workers. I felt like they were friends. I hadn't felt that way the whole time i worked there....such a same. I almost didn't want to say goodbye...
The next night was my going away party. I'll skip the drama inflicted on me by a careless, lying promoter and skip to the good parts.... I got so dang drunk part of the night comes in flashes. Marking my night, the only ppl that truly showed were my closest friends (even those that attempted to and couldn't, even the ppl that called afterwards i appreciated) and an old friend. Mo and her husband showed first, I've known both of them since elementary and jr. high and it was special to see them there.... the best part, knowing once Mo is a friend, she is always a friend. She was one of the girls trying to hoist me off of the toilet in the club and slapping me in the face to keep me conscious outside of the club.
Garette, it meant so much to have him there. I know his issues with my friends, he knows they don't really like him, rather me be without him and that's why he stays away from them. He was my post, he kept me up as much as he could and took care of me all night and all day following as he always does. I started crying when Loi hugged me in the club and ran to cry on Garette's shoulder.... i don't know how I'm going to be apart from him... but i know i will be with him always.
The girls and the boys... my group of familia made sure i went out with a bang. Fireworks and all, i couldn't have imagined a night like that.... I don't want to get that drunk again but we can get close :)
The movers took everything i needed Wednesday and its the night before my flight. Garette held me for an hour while i cried. Being apart from my Mom will be incredibly hard, from my friends too, but most of all from Garette. I've never been this much in love with anyone. No one has taken as much care of me as he has, put me first, looked out for me as much as he has. he calls when it looks like rain to make sure i have an umbrella, make sure i ate, makes sure when i toss and turn in the middle of the night that I'm ok. All the little things mean so much to me, tomorrow is not guaranteed, but i thank GOD that he was brought to me when he was and I hope this is not where the chapter ends but part two in the series begins.
I love you baby
Last week, I had lunch with my execs, dinner with co-workers and a surprise party from my office. It was quite an event i must say. I have never felt so much a part of the company as i did that day. Not to mention they quickly hired someone to replace me that for the day i trained her, seemed to be an idiot. But that is no longer my problem.
Listening to the founder make a short speech about my time in the company (14.5 months) and how valuable i was, i tried my best to keep it together. Nonetheless, i cried. My first real cry about moving and it happened in front of everyone (mostly everyone) in my office. I couldn't' believe i would have such emotions but there they were. I even got gifts. How cool. After work, i took my new school bag and items given to me and went for drinks with more co-workers. I felt like they were friends. I hadn't felt that way the whole time i worked there....such a same. I almost didn't want to say goodbye...
The next night was my going away party. I'll skip the drama inflicted on me by a careless, lying promoter and skip to the good parts.... I got so dang drunk part of the night comes in flashes. Marking my night, the only ppl that truly showed were my closest friends (even those that attempted to and couldn't, even the ppl that called afterwards i appreciated) and an old friend. Mo and her husband showed first, I've known both of them since elementary and jr. high and it was special to see them there.... the best part, knowing once Mo is a friend, she is always a friend. She was one of the girls trying to hoist me off of the toilet in the club and slapping me in the face to keep me conscious outside of the club.
Garette, it meant so much to have him there. I know his issues with my friends, he knows they don't really like him, rather me be without him and that's why he stays away from them. He was my post, he kept me up as much as he could and took care of me all night and all day following as he always does. I started crying when Loi hugged me in the club and ran to cry on Garette's shoulder.... i don't know how I'm going to be apart from him... but i know i will be with him always.
The girls and the boys... my group of familia made sure i went out with a bang. Fireworks and all, i couldn't have imagined a night like that.... I don't want to get that drunk again but we can get close :)
The movers took everything i needed Wednesday and its the night before my flight. Garette held me for an hour while i cried. Being apart from my Mom will be incredibly hard, from my friends too, but most of all from Garette. I've never been this much in love with anyone. No one has taken as much care of me as he has, put me first, looked out for me as much as he has. he calls when it looks like rain to make sure i have an umbrella, make sure i ate, makes sure when i toss and turn in the middle of the night that I'm ok. All the little things mean so much to me, tomorrow is not guaranteed, but i thank GOD that he was brought to me when he was and I hope this is not where the chapter ends but part two in the series begins.
I love you baby
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
She, He and ME
As the train rocked forward it caught my eye. He kept looking up at me as I stood over Them reading my book. They couldn't see me but inside I was laughing so hard. She was into her music, I into my story and He stealing glances....just then....and again. It wasn't until he looked again up and down that she looked too.....Up....and down.....and up again...just her eyes. And I glanced at her.
I figured in my final days I could look like a girl. I could wear a dress, a dress that fell all too well on my figure. A dress that's unforgiving to the unpleasant, and enhances what'cha mama gave ya. A low cut little diddy that had Garette looking at me with the same eye he gave me. "Where are you going?".... Just to dinner afterwork babe, then you can take it off :)
Judging by their reactions, the dress was hot and She proceeded to whisper something in his ear...."the girl in front of us....." was all i could hear....then his eyes again...up and down. Her head motioned towards me, and she kept talking about me.... and I just watched them. I wanted to say "be easy, I have my own at home" but I let her do what she needed to to stay secure.
She held his hand tighter, two pairs of eyes glanced one more time, then she kept talking so he only looked at her.
I figured in my final days I could look like a girl. I could wear a dress, a dress that fell all too well on my figure. A dress that's unforgiving to the unpleasant, and enhances what'cha mama gave ya. A low cut little diddy that had Garette looking at me with the same eye he gave me. "Where are you going?".... Just to dinner afterwork babe, then you can take it off :)
Judging by their reactions, the dress was hot and She proceeded to whisper something in his ear...."the girl in front of us....." was all i could hear....then his eyes again...up and down. Her head motioned towards me, and she kept talking about me.... and I just watched them. I wanted to say "be easy, I have my own at home" but I let her do what she needed to to stay secure.
She held his hand tighter, two pairs of eyes glanced one more time, then she kept talking so he only looked at her.
Monday, June 11, 2007
finale or a new beginning?
watching the Sopranos series finale I was conflicted. Many people I heard did not like the ending....i thought it was great. It was like ending it without really ending it.
***episode spoilers ahead... do not read if you have it Tivo'd***
To put it in perspective, i will have you recall the episode in Episode 80 Season 6 (current and final season) where the feds discover a body which was buried 25 years ago by Tony and the ever talkative Paulie. In letting Carmela know he had to skedaddle for a short while, she says "It's just, this is what life is still like, at our age?"
That is what the final episode was...the answer to that question. there could be no more final end for Phil and Justice was due. No offense, but that shit was awesome. Janice is back to her manipulative ways again, trying to keep Bobby's kids so she won't be alone and also, so they won't leave with what's theirs. In the final scene, everyone is shifty. Tony keeps watching the door as person after person walks in, waiting for his family to come in one by one. Always looking over your shoulder, living in peace in between tumultuous times. and as Meadow finally walks in...........it's over. No fade to black, no nice family moment.........just darkness and just like that, the Sopranos came to a finale. they left you wanting more and left your imagination running with the script.
nice job.
***episode spoilers ahead... do not read if you have it Tivo'd***
To put it in perspective, i will have you recall the episode in Episode 80 Season 6 (current and final season) where the feds discover a body which was buried 25 years ago by Tony and the ever talkative Paulie. In letting Carmela know he had to skedaddle for a short while, she says "It's just, this is what life is still like, at our age?"
That is what the final episode was...the answer to that question. there could be no more final end for Phil and Justice was due. No offense, but that shit was awesome. Janice is back to her manipulative ways again, trying to keep Bobby's kids so she won't be alone and also, so they won't leave with what's theirs. In the final scene, everyone is shifty. Tony keeps watching the door as person after person walks in, waiting for his family to come in one by one. Always looking over your shoulder, living in peace in between tumultuous times. and as Meadow finally walks in...........it's over. No fade to black, no nice family moment.........just darkness and just like that, the Sopranos came to a finale. they left you wanting more and left your imagination running with the script.
nice job.
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
what about your fam?
I thought what was messed up was when my cousins planned to travel and get together amongst themselves leaving me out of the picture. I thought it was even more messed up when one proceeded to tell me all about their plans and what fun they would have, all the cousins together... but it doesn't compare to calling and asking me about where I stayed the last time I was there and if I had any suggestions for them....
and still, not once did anyone say "would you like to come?" although at this point it might result in a click of the phone or a slap to the face. Either way, it would be as much as they're giving me right now.
and still, not once did anyone say "would you like to come?" although at this point it might result in a click of the phone or a slap to the face. Either way, it would be as much as they're giving me right now.
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
The Interview
Was not worth $209 ... it was barely 30 minutes and at the end i was left feeling well, less than orgasmic. It was like being with a man who lied about the size of his....him.
It took an hour to get there (mapquest, yahoo maps, msn maps..they're all crap). Driving in the HOV lane definitely has it's benefits however, being that i would have to drive by myself, I was NOT liking the traffic situation. coming from the South side to the north presented its problems awfully quickly (more like at a snails pace up the 75).
My interviewer Dave sat me down right away, prepped me for a minute and then the Operations manager came in with the girl who is currently in the position, Sarah. Tip #1, always look at the people who are interviewing you... if they can't dress up for you, or even do their eyebrows, it's not a positive sign. I wanted to crawl across the conference table with a pair of tweezers and have at it.
After the basic rundown of her day/week (which is basically, same thing every day... no change, monotony to it's best) she left and it was me and Susie. Nice lady, laugh laugh laugh, talk talk talk, relate some and it was over.... Waaaat...
What i was more pissed about however, was that the mall a hop skip and jump away, wasn't open yet and NO WHERE showed signs of food. Geez. So i hopped on a train went to the airport where big bruddah picked me up. yes, there are trains in Atlanta. Pretty easy too, North to South and East to West.
So that was that. the Big interview... Sucked. I wouldn't take it if they offered it to me anyway. Why leave a NY job to go to the same NY job. I need something different. This time, I pledge to take the opportunity to be picky. So i guess i did get something out of this trip.... now i know what to say Hell Noo to.
It took an hour to get there (mapquest, yahoo maps, msn maps..they're all crap). Driving in the HOV lane definitely has it's benefits however, being that i would have to drive by myself, I was NOT liking the traffic situation. coming from the South side to the north presented its problems awfully quickly (more like at a snails pace up the 75).
My interviewer Dave sat me down right away, prepped me for a minute and then the Operations manager came in with the girl who is currently in the position, Sarah. Tip #1, always look at the people who are interviewing you... if they can't dress up for you, or even do their eyebrows, it's not a positive sign. I wanted to crawl across the conference table with a pair of tweezers and have at it.
After the basic rundown of her day/week (which is basically, same thing every day... no change, monotony to it's best) she left and it was me and Susie. Nice lady, laugh laugh laugh, talk talk talk, relate some and it was over.... Waaaat...
What i was more pissed about however, was that the mall a hop skip and jump away, wasn't open yet and NO WHERE showed signs of food. Geez. So i hopped on a train went to the airport where big bruddah picked me up. yes, there are trains in Atlanta. Pretty easy too, North to South and East to West.
So that was that. the Big interview... Sucked. I wouldn't take it if they offered it to me anyway. Why leave a NY job to go to the same NY job. I need something different. This time, I pledge to take the opportunity to be picky. So i guess i did get something out of this trip.... now i know what to say Hell Noo to.
Friday, June 01, 2007
my expansion
I'm off to Atlanta this weekend... it's going to be hot!
In changing over my winter clothes to summer, I realized that like most people I've gained weight. Not that its all bad, but still, my clothes from last summer won't fit the same.at least i get to shop for new ones.
So off to Conway I went with a little bit of money for some cheap shirts... they never have what I want when i have the money to get it... I hate that, but either way, you can find some good stuff when you really look through the clutter. And don't forget, elbows up, you saw it first.
but i digress, the child in me, never got passed "the new". Every time my mom brought home new clothes, i had to try them on ASAP. So when i find myself in the bathroom at work trying on my new dudes, i can't help but laugh... I'm so damn corny.
well, at least I'll be able to exchange what doesn't fit after work.
In changing over my winter clothes to summer, I realized that like most people I've gained weight. Not that its all bad, but still, my clothes from last summer won't fit the same.at least i get to shop for new ones.
So off to Conway I went with a little bit of money for some cheap shirts... they never have what I want when i have the money to get it... I hate that, but either way, you can find some good stuff when you really look through the clutter. And don't forget, elbows up, you saw it first.
but i digress, the child in me, never got passed "the new". Every time my mom brought home new clothes, i had to try them on ASAP. So when i find myself in the bathroom at work trying on my new dudes, i can't help but laugh... I'm so damn corny.
well, at least I'll be able to exchange what doesn't fit after work.
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
jetsetter
Surreal moment #151
It is happening. Lady, you are moving and going to school and getting a job in another part of the country. It is happening.
nothing to snap you into what you try to avoid feeling like a job interview. So today I get an email, simple and plain... "Saw your resume, want to speak with you about an opportunity." Sounds simple enough, Kinda looks like spam but why don't I check it out. So I email them back, attach my full resume (why do they ask for your resume when they've already seen it), and schedule a call for today.
Silly me to think its a simple call, no it's a first step for the interview (i'm waaaay to laid back lately). He's asking questions, I answer, talk talk talk, charm charm charm and he's sending my resume to his operations manager for further consult. Can you come down for a formal interview? sure, no prob, i'll be there soon anyway.
He calls back 45 minutes later asking to see me this Monday June 4th at 9am. "can you be here by then".... geez. and so it sets in...
I'm moving (deep breath)
I'm looking for another job (deep breath)
I'm going to school (deeeeeper breath)
I'm freaking out
It is happening. Lady, you are moving and going to school and getting a job in another part of the country. It is happening.
nothing to snap you into what you try to avoid feeling like a job interview. So today I get an email, simple and plain... "Saw your resume, want to speak with you about an opportunity." Sounds simple enough, Kinda looks like spam but why don't I check it out. So I email them back, attach my full resume (why do they ask for your resume when they've already seen it), and schedule a call for today.
Silly me to think its a simple call, no it's a first step for the interview (i'm waaaay to laid back lately). He's asking questions, I answer, talk talk talk, charm charm charm and he's sending my resume to his operations manager for further consult. Can you come down for a formal interview? sure, no prob, i'll be there soon anyway.
He calls back 45 minutes later asking to see me this Monday June 4th at 9am. "can you be here by then".... geez. and so it sets in...
I'm moving (deep breath)
I'm looking for another job (deep breath)
I'm going to school (deeeeeper breath)
I'm freaking out
Thursday, May 24, 2007
rage against the man
Why do we rejoice when a company loses? We want to see it go down...
We being the common (wo)man...the ones who receive a paycheck instead of signing them. We like to see "the man" get taken down a peg or two. "Good for them" we exclaim as slowly but surely they become a shell of their former glorious selves. "they should have done this", "they shouldn't have done that" we say in matter-of-fact tones, but aren't we all striving to be "the man".
Or maybe it's just where i work.
This rage-against-the-machine moment has been brought to you by the employees of TS otherwise known as my soon-to-be former co-workers. When a person quits/resigns, it serves as inspiration, a kick in the pants to say, this is not the end of the road. It seems my leaving in conjunction with management being ASS-hoooooooles (see Meet the Fockers) was enough to have a handful of people relay their wishes to get the hell outta this place.
I mean really, it's a small company, there's not much room to move up unless you're sleeping with one of management and there's only one single guy there (or is he? ;) ). So basically you're just here to put in a paycheck for the rest of your lives. Oh the fun. But then again I still have yet to work in a place that i really like...environment and all, but that's why I'm going back to school....
what are you going to do? Rage ON!
We being the common (wo)man...the ones who receive a paycheck instead of signing them. We like to see "the man" get taken down a peg or two. "Good for them" we exclaim as slowly but surely they become a shell of their former glorious selves. "they should have done this", "they shouldn't have done that" we say in matter-of-fact tones, but aren't we all striving to be "the man".
Or maybe it's just where i work.
This rage-against-the-machine moment has been brought to you by the employees of TS otherwise known as my soon-to-be former co-workers. When a person quits/resigns, it serves as inspiration, a kick in the pants to say, this is not the end of the road. It seems my leaving in conjunction with management being ASS-hoooooooles (see Meet the Fockers) was enough to have a handful of people relay their wishes to get the hell outta this place.
I mean really, it's a small company, there's not much room to move up unless you're sleeping with one of management and there's only one single guy there (or is he? ;) ). So basically you're just here to put in a paycheck for the rest of your lives. Oh the fun. But then again I still have yet to work in a place that i really like...environment and all, but that's why I'm going back to school....
what are you going to do? Rage ON!
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
one pregnancy-free day
this may sound incredibly evil and awful of me to say...but i will.
I have a friend that is pregnant. In her first pregnancy last year, she lost the baby. I don't know from experience and hope to never know what it's like to lose a baby but it must be excruciating. She is now preggers again... about 16 weeks. Here comes the bad part...
If she doesn't shut up for one damn day about this pregnancy i will be forced to chuck her from my friends list. Every day...two or three posts...no normal convo's....just about her being pregnant with stubby (although that name is hella cute).
Im not evil and i've had plenty of friends who were pregnant but they weren't this annoying. geez She has pages on those baby sites (babycenter.com) where she can converse with other preggers and show off her belly etc.... leave me alone dammit.
I have a friend that is pregnant. In her first pregnancy last year, she lost the baby. I don't know from experience and hope to never know what it's like to lose a baby but it must be excruciating. She is now preggers again... about 16 weeks. Here comes the bad part...
If she doesn't shut up for one damn day about this pregnancy i will be forced to chuck her from my friends list. Every day...two or three posts...no normal convo's....just about her being pregnant with stubby (although that name is hella cute).
Im not evil and i've had plenty of friends who were pregnant but they weren't this annoying. geez She has pages on those baby sites (babycenter.com) where she can converse with other preggers and show off her belly etc.... leave me alone dammit.
what's my thing
i've been inspired... to do what i'm not really sure.
I found this wonderful blog, Ismoyo's Playground where Ismoyo got a sewing machine from her parents and began sewing things together. little projects like making two shirts into a dress (tre cool) to little purses, to little animals... and i'm so jealous.
Everyone has their 'thing'. Mike is into anything that will make him money and right now that means going back to school, while buying a house and being a landlord. Loi has her painting, Lupe has her new house, decorating it and being creative painting it, plus she's a gym freak. Even Garette has his music (Downloading, makig playlists/CDs) but alas, I have no 'thing'.
I hate having stuff and doing things that other people have/do. i like orignality but I'm seriously thinking of taking my mom's sewing machine with me to occupy my time (she has three). I mean shoot, maybe sleeves will actually fit me now.
I made my curtains at home (time for me to make more i might add) so i think i can move on and start with some easy patterns. We shall see. I'm hopeful, but I also have the attention span of cat...
I found this wonderful blog, Ismoyo's Playground where Ismoyo got a sewing machine from her parents and began sewing things together. little projects like making two shirts into a dress (tre cool) to little purses, to little animals... and i'm so jealous.
Everyone has their 'thing'. Mike is into anything that will make him money and right now that means going back to school, while buying a house and being a landlord. Loi has her painting, Lupe has her new house, decorating it and being creative painting it, plus she's a gym freak. Even Garette has his music (Downloading, makig playlists/CDs) but alas, I have no 'thing'.
I hate having stuff and doing things that other people have/do. i like orignality but I'm seriously thinking of taking my mom's sewing machine with me to occupy my time (she has three). I mean shoot, maybe sleeves will actually fit me now.
I made my curtains at home (time for me to make more i might add) so i think i can move on and start with some easy patterns. We shall see. I'm hopeful, but I also have the attention span of cat...
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
and so it begins
Handing in your resignation from a job you can barely stand is one of the most freeing, take a bow you've earned it baby, kiss my ass experiences you can have in your life. Slamming it down like you're playing dominoes with abuelita and her over 70's crew is just the low-fat, no guilt icing with sprinkles.
I'm done, I'm actually almost outta here. A bit formal for a small company but still I want to keep my skills in tact before I leave and take all the laziness with me. In a month (a bit less), June 15 will be my last day at TS. I've been hearing alot of the "what are we going to do without you" bits, but I'm pretty sure, within a week, I'll just be "that tall girl that used to put up with Frazzle Dazzle".
Either way, I'm super excited about starting school and starting everything over again. My hand is firmly resting above my 'reset' button and I'm just waiting to slam it down.
I'm done, I'm actually almost outta here. A bit formal for a small company but still I want to keep my skills in tact before I leave and take all the laziness with me. In a month (a bit less), June 15 will be my last day at TS. I've been hearing alot of the "what are we going to do without you" bits, but I'm pretty sure, within a week, I'll just be "that tall girl that used to put up with Frazzle Dazzle".
Either way, I'm super excited about starting school and starting everything over again. My hand is firmly resting above my 'reset' button and I'm just waiting to slam it down.
Friday, May 11, 2007
the gift of gay
I'm sitting there watching an episode of 'According to Jim' as the wife Cheryl tries to get her husband Jim to go to a musical with her since her sister just had a baby. Jim quickly informs her that she needs a male gay friend that can do this stuff with her, cause he ain't gonna.
and that's when it happened... my mom turned to me and said "I want a gay friend"
of all the things she could have said she wanted, especially with mothers day coming up, a gay friend.... more specifically "not one that's out and out... more so with one foot in and one foot out the closet" LMAO, my typical 'Republican Gay' male. Not flaming, but is what he is without all the fanfare... Mike and D, my gays, are too young for her she said, one her own age.
the more i think of it, the more she's right. Most of her friends either moved away or are so involved with other things, she's basically alone. She barely goes out unless it's with me on the weekends. I hate to move to ATL and leave her for so long only coming up once a month. Yes, she needs a gay, but where oh where do i find one her age? it's hard enough for women my age to find straight men.
So, are there any applications open for a fag hag/flame dame/fruit fly?
and that's when it happened... my mom turned to me and said "I want a gay friend"
of all the things she could have said she wanted, especially with mothers day coming up, a gay friend.... more specifically "not one that's out and out... more so with one foot in and one foot out the closet" LMAO, my typical 'Republican Gay' male. Not flaming, but is what he is without all the fanfare... Mike and D, my gays, are too young for her she said, one her own age.
the more i think of it, the more she's right. Most of her friends either moved away or are so involved with other things, she's basically alone. She barely goes out unless it's with me on the weekends. I hate to move to ATL and leave her for so long only coming up once a month. Yes, she needs a gay, but where oh where do i find one her age? it's hard enough for women my age to find straight men.
So, are there any applications open for a fag hag/flame dame/fruit fly?
Thursday, May 10, 2007
surprises
so everything about my birthday activities...either the day of or Saturday the 12th are a mystery to me. My good friends planned it all and all i have to do is show up looking cute. Sounds fun to me... I love being spoiled.
except, the more it comes down to Saturday the more I gotta know...is what i'm planning to wear appropriate? Do i need my flats to get down afterwards? I wanna get down.... i want to dance and be cute... Its my week and next week is Jennie's.
except, the more it comes down to Saturday the more I gotta know...is what i'm planning to wear appropriate? Do i need my flats to get down afterwards? I wanna get down.... i want to dance and be cute... Its my week and next week is Jennie's.
Monday, May 07, 2007
birthday wishes and caviar dreams
Today is my bday.... 27 years on this earth and still feeling lost. The day begins normally, with me being late since i told them i'd work 8-5 instead of 9-6 today. I ended up arriving about 8:30 but who cares... i'm still leaving early. It's my birthday.
I don't need to do anything special since I would rather get my gift to myself but that will have to wait yet another week. I promise you, when I can devulge the bday secret, I will, but not until I have it for sure... I hate jinxing things.
I've been on the phone all night with Birthday wishes and shooting the breeze and texting all morning with other folks and listening to birthday songs.... LOL i hate singing happy birthday in a group, but friends and family singing loudly on the phone always seems to work for me.
The plus is that frazzle dazzle is out of the office this week and his wife is being induced into labor as I write this... Leave it to Frazzle to take my bday shine away.
As for bday wishes... see below. I noticed that some of my bday wishes are coming true,especially the one about Paris Hilton. Long live the justice system huh!
UPDATE: Actually i've hardly been at my desk today. With Lupe stopping by to take me for Bday coffee, then My co-workers took me to lunch, My Boss will surprise me with brownies and ice cream in a minute (they are horrible at surprises which is why i know about it), and i leave at 5 for more bday treats... I'm loving today!
and Frazzle Dazzle's baby just took my shine. Not only because it was born, but because it was supposed to be a girl and it came out a BOY. So all hail miracle baby
- External CD/DVD Burner*
- AFLAC insurance
- silicone 10 piece baking set
- peace on earth
- New Monopoly game (Here & Now)
- That new Wii game so I can beat myself up and get sent to the hospital like everyone else and I can have days off from work.
- lot's and lots of cute shirts *
- A Shoe Room
- Jay-z (not the CD, not the poster, the man w/o the B)
- Brown and Black leather belts.
- a Karaoke machine
- Goodwill towards women (I already have goodwill towards men! LOL)
- $$$$$
- a niece or nephew (ahem)
- Isaiah Thomas fired from the Knicks
- Mosaic Tiles for art projects
- Nicole Ritchie to eat something
- My own television show so i can tell people off when they make me mad
- Money, alot of money
- Britney Spears to cover herself up... you're someone's mama
- To take over for the drunk Miss America
- a trainer
- Some lunch, I'm hungry right now
- a Bedroom
- nap time at work
- Boots, lots and lots of Boots
- Febreeze for the stinky people on the train
- Ban Paris Hilton from America
- a one day pass to slap all stupid ppl who try to talk to me.
- a PSP
- a decorator to help me with my apt
- someone to pack my stuff for me
- the flu shot (just because you never know)
- get my tonsils taken out
- a new car, like new new, factory new, 0 miles
- equality
- warm Dutch apple pie with milk
- an energy drink...
- an assistant at work
- My boss to get fired
- Have Bobby Brown tested….for everything
- some more money
- a good financial aid package
- The Gov't to pay for school
- Shoes
- A suga daddy to pay for school
- a pair of ruby shoes so when I'm somewhere I don't want to be I can click them and be home
- Barack Obama and Hilary Clinton on the same ticket... Our first woman president and a black man as vice president. Bigots and Racists will dop dead or have heart attacks throughout the US forcing a national heathcare plan LOL
- Did I mention a new car?
- A good job, and if possible, a good experience at a job
- A sock with stuff in it so I can hit people over the head and say "Julie don't play dat"
- a really big Clock (not attached to the flava fool)
- people to mind their business
- people to tell me stuff so I can gossip about their business
- a new "F*ck off" t-shirt
- a new dirty pool hall place
- Oprah to admit she's not down with the people
- Michael Jackson to admit those ain't his kids
- the men with 'hats' (wink wink) to stop being A-holes in my neighborhood
- to see someone fart with a lighter down there and it shoot off like a flamethrower heehee
- for people to write in their blogs on a consistent basis… I mean really, what else do I read at work?
- a vacation with my feet in the sand
- handbags
- to be the one to tell Eddie Murphy… "you ARE the father"
- to watch white people in hip hop dance classes
- Money just because
- to tell a story without being rudely interrupted…. (ahem)
- a house
- a cooking class
- for my mom to move with me
- for my grandparents to move with me...where else will I get cou cou
- to turn back time
- learn how to hypnotize people and have them running around like farm animals
- to meet bruh man from the fif floor
- Kick Sanjaya OFF American idol (i wrote this a couple of weeks ago)
- for the courts to make an example out of Paris Hilton and not Brandy
- people to stop using the N word
- ohhh, those food saver contraptions
- George Bush to resign
- Cheney to get lost in Afghanistan
- and i guess our troops to come home...
I don't need to do anything special since I would rather get my gift to myself but that will have to wait yet another week. I promise you, when I can devulge the bday secret, I will, but not until I have it for sure... I hate jinxing things.
I've been on the phone all night with Birthday wishes and shooting the breeze and texting all morning with other folks and listening to birthday songs.... LOL i hate singing happy birthday in a group, but friends and family singing loudly on the phone always seems to work for me.
The plus is that frazzle dazzle is out of the office this week and his wife is being induced into labor as I write this... Leave it to Frazzle to take my bday shine away.
As for bday wishes... see below. I noticed that some of my bday wishes are coming true,especially the one about Paris Hilton. Long live the justice system huh!
UPDATE: Actually i've hardly been at my desk today. With Lupe stopping by to take me for Bday coffee, then My co-workers took me to lunch, My Boss will surprise me with brownies and ice cream in a minute (they are horrible at surprises which is why i know about it), and i leave at 5 for more bday treats... I'm loving today!
and Frazzle Dazzle's baby just took my shine. Not only because it was born, but because it was supposed to be a girl and it came out a BOY. So all hail miracle baby
- External CD/DVD Burner*
- AFLAC insurance
- silicone 10 piece baking set
- peace on earth
- New Monopoly game (Here & Now)
- That new Wii game so I can beat myself up and get sent to the hospital like everyone else and I can have days off from work.
- lot's and lots of cute shirts *
- A Shoe Room
- Jay-z (not the CD, not the poster, the man w/o the B)
- Brown and Black leather belts.
- a Karaoke machine
- Goodwill towards women (I already have goodwill towards men! LOL)
- $$$$$
- a niece or nephew (ahem)
- Isaiah Thomas fired from the Knicks
- Mosaic Tiles for art projects
- Nicole Ritchie to eat something
- My own television show so i can tell people off when they make me mad
- Money, alot of money
- Britney Spears to cover herself up... you're someone's mama
- To take over for the drunk Miss America
- a trainer
- Some lunch, I'm hungry right now
- a Bedroom
- nap time at work
- Boots, lots and lots of Boots
- Febreeze for the stinky people on the train
- Ban Paris Hilton from America
- a one day pass to slap all stupid ppl who try to talk to me.
- a PSP
- a decorator to help me with my apt
- someone to pack my stuff for me
- the flu shot (just because you never know)
- get my tonsils taken out
- a new car, like new new, factory new, 0 miles
- equality
- warm Dutch apple pie with milk
- an energy drink...
- an assistant at work
- My boss to get fired
- Have Bobby Brown tested….for everything
- some more money
- a good financial aid package
- The Gov't to pay for school
- Shoes
- A suga daddy to pay for school
- a pair of ruby shoes so when I'm somewhere I don't want to be I can click them and be home
- Barack Obama and Hilary Clinton on the same ticket... Our first woman president and a black man as vice president. Bigots and Racists will dop dead or have heart attacks throughout the US forcing a national heathcare plan LOL
- Did I mention a new car?
- A good job, and if possible, a good experience at a job
- A sock with stuff in it so I can hit people over the head and say "Julie don't play dat"
- a really big Clock (not attached to the flava fool)
- people to mind their business
- people to tell me stuff so I can gossip about their business
- a new "F*ck off" t-shirt
- a new dirty pool hall place
- Oprah to admit she's not down with the people
- Michael Jackson to admit those ain't his kids
- the men with 'hats' (wink wink) to stop being A-holes in my neighborhood
- to see someone fart with a lighter down there and it shoot off like a flamethrower heehee
- for people to write in their blogs on a consistent basis… I mean really, what else do I read at work?
- a vacation with my feet in the sand
- handbags
- to be the one to tell Eddie Murphy… "you ARE the father"
- to watch white people in hip hop dance classes
- Money just because
- to tell a story without being rudely interrupted…. (ahem)
- a house
- a cooking class
- for my mom to move with me
- for my grandparents to move with me...where else will I get cou cou
- to turn back time
- learn how to hypnotize people and have them running around like farm animals
- to meet bruh man from the fif floor
- Kick Sanjaya OFF American idol (i wrote this a couple of weeks ago)
- for the courts to make an example out of Paris Hilton and not Brandy
- people to stop using the N word
- ohhh, those food saver contraptions
- George Bush to resign
- Cheney to get lost in Afghanistan
- and i guess our troops to come home...
Friday, April 27, 2007
random stuff from a bored employee
I'm eating yogurt at my desk with a fork.... mostly because these f-ers at work failed to let me know we were out of spoons, and knives...but we have a shitload of forks.
My friends sent an email regarding my bday to other friends.... activity, date and time.... I only knew the date.... i found out the time... now to find out the activity. I know i told them to plan it but I'm nosey...it's a case of the little sister. What's even better... My cousin is going to do my hair for $25...yayay.
Then... I got 4 tickets for a Friday Night party boat cruise around NY the Friday before they take me out... But i might give those away for tickets to see Sanchez and Tony Curtis at BBKings on the 11th. Looks like my Bday weekend will be something to remember, if i don't drink too much.
I MIGHT take off my bday, we'll see how things go but if i don't, then I'm taking off May 11th. either way, there's a three day weekend to be had.
no more random thoughts... i'm off to read gossip for the next hour and a half
My friends sent an email regarding my bday to other friends.... activity, date and time.... I only knew the date.... i found out the time... now to find out the activity. I know i told them to plan it but I'm nosey...it's a case of the little sister. What's even better... My cousin is going to do my hair for $25...yayay.
Then... I got 4 tickets for a Friday Night party boat cruise around NY the Friday before they take me out... But i might give those away for tickets to see Sanchez and Tony Curtis at BBKings on the 11th. Looks like my Bday weekend will be something to remember, if i don't drink too much.
I MIGHT take off my bday, we'll see how things go but if i don't, then I'm taking off May 11th. either way, there's a three day weekend to be had.
no more random thoughts... i'm off to read gossip for the next hour and a half
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Changes i been going through
So much is changing and so fast... Previously we gave ourselves time to adjust, now it seems as if we have to speed up time. I can no longer wait for things to happen... for happiness to come. As much as you want to let things just roll off your back, they won't because you're still here and still being affected.
It feels as though my life is on hold listening to easy music as I wait for someone, somewhere to give me an answer so I can proceed. Well since that annoys me so damn much, i've made my decision to leave in June. I cannot sit at this desk much longer, I cannot wait for Clark Atlanta to run their office with efficency. I need to leave and I need to go soon. I can't wait for a change to come, I need to make it.
I make the decision on when to start my life and that is now.
with that said... help me sell my furniture... :(
It feels as though my life is on hold listening to easy music as I wait for someone, somewhere to give me an answer so I can proceed. Well since that annoys me so damn much, i've made my decision to leave in June. I cannot sit at this desk much longer, I cannot wait for Clark Atlanta to run their office with efficency. I need to leave and I need to go soon. I can't wait for a change to come, I need to make it.
I make the decision on when to start my life and that is now.
with that said... help me sell my furniture... :(
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Hip Hop: an attack on Bullshit
I am so damn sick of it... Let's now attack hip hop because Damn Imus said "nappy headed hoes"... well guess what? he was wrong, but he should NOT have been fired for it. He's a damn shock jock for pete's sake and he did just that...shocked the crap out of everyone and left their jaws scraping the floor. he's misogynistic and that's his problem, you don't like him, turn him off HOWEVER, the first amendment right has to be protected otherwise we might as well start adopting the policies of the countries we're so comfortable invading.
Back to the attack on hip hop.... cut this shit out. Now i don't agree with rappers calling women bitches and hoes...but hey, i call women bitches and hoes. I am not a bitch (never have been, never will be), i can be bitchy but I'm not a bitch and as for being a Hoe... you damn sure ain't talking to me. But guess what.... they exist. Hoes are out there, they've always been; so when 50 cent or anyone else for that matter says, "this hoe is jockin me", i know he's talking about them, not me.
showing Here's my thing, Rock n' Roll depicted half naked women first with all the bleached blond hair and neon bikinis. Hip hop started with depicting their current life conditions with notable NWACompton for what it was to an audience who never saw it. After Hip hop began gaining notoriety, they included the half naked women, they used women as tools in their videos and exploited them. They did the same thing as Rock n' Roll artists only, hip hop made it popular. But here's the clincher... THOSE WOMEN EXPLOITED THEMSELVES. Be it for 15 minutes of fame, money, lifestyle, these women put themselves in the position to be used in videos and depicted as whores. When the hoes stop coming after the artists with money and fame, then the artists can't talk about them anymore.... Fix the hoes
As to the effect on kids.... it's called PARENTING. I for one, was not allowed to go to kids houses where my mom did not know the parents, and most of the kids houses i was allowed to go to their parents were as strict as mine on what we were allowed to watch. Cable and satellite are equipped with channel blockers so you can monitor what your kids view. Shoot, use them it's part of your service package. As for the radio, it's time to have open dialogue with your kids. Children are a lot smarter nowadays and comprehend faster than ever before. You can discuss with your kids once you start hearing them repeating the lyrics of these songs, what they mean, what is acceptable and what is not. You know how i learned not to curse... Once while singing a song, i cursed (in the lyrics) and my mother slapped me over the head and said "don't ever let me hear you say something like that again"... I STILL don't curse in front of her.
Hip hop is not the enemy, I refuse to let people make an example out of it like they did to Damn Imus. I agree, there needs to be a change and accountability, but first hold yourselves accountable for your part in it.
I had more to say but since I'm at work, i kept getting interrupted... so this is To Be Continued
Back to the attack on hip hop.... cut this shit out. Now i don't agree with rappers calling women bitches and hoes...but hey, i call women bitches and hoes. I am not a bitch (never have been, never will be), i can be bitchy but I'm not a bitch and as for being a Hoe... you damn sure ain't talking to me. But guess what.... they exist. Hoes are out there, they've always been; so when 50 cent or anyone else for that matter says, "this hoe is jockin me", i know he's talking about them, not me.
showing Here's my thing, Rock n' Roll depicted half naked women first with all the bleached blond hair and neon bikinis. Hip hop started with depicting their current life conditions with notable NWACompton for what it was to an audience who never saw it. After Hip hop began gaining notoriety, they included the half naked women, they used women as tools in their videos and exploited them. They did the same thing as Rock n' Roll artists only, hip hop made it popular. But here's the clincher... THOSE WOMEN EXPLOITED THEMSELVES. Be it for 15 minutes of fame, money, lifestyle, these women put themselves in the position to be used in videos and depicted as whores. When the hoes stop coming after the artists with money and fame, then the artists can't talk about them anymore.... Fix the hoes
As to the effect on kids.... it's called PARENTING. I for one, was not allowed to go to kids houses where my mom did not know the parents, and most of the kids houses i was allowed to go to their parents were as strict as mine on what we were allowed to watch. Cable and satellite are equipped with channel blockers so you can monitor what your kids view. Shoot, use them it's part of your service package. As for the radio, it's time to have open dialogue with your kids. Children are a lot smarter nowadays and comprehend faster than ever before. You can discuss with your kids once you start hearing them repeating the lyrics of these songs, what they mean, what is acceptable and what is not. You know how i learned not to curse... Once while singing a song, i cursed (in the lyrics) and my mother slapped me over the head and said "don't ever let me hear you say something like that again"... I STILL don't curse in front of her.
Hip hop is not the enemy, I refuse to let people make an example out of it like they did to Damn Imus. I agree, there needs to be a change and accountability, but first hold yourselves accountable for your part in it.
I, Lady from the Blogspot, agree to do my best to stop calling women Bitches. It will not happen overnight, but a change will come.I can never stop calling certain women AND men hoes b/c that person may actually be one. Oh yea, as for the Spelman women on the Oprah show, so enraged by all of this... Don't let me catch any one of you in the club in ATL bumping and grinding, dropping it like its hot or leaning and rocking with it in the club after you so blasted hip hop. You'd better line-dance your way down Peachtree street.
I had more to say but since I'm at work, i kept getting interrupted... so this is To Be Continued
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
the last 5 minutes
I'm so frustrated right now with Clark Atlanta U. You submit your materials in a timely manner with big bold letters. You assign tracking numbers so you know where your package is, and a sigh of relief lets out once it's arrived at its designated location all for it to sit somewhere NOT being reviewed. I got an answer in less than a week from Argosy and i'm still waiting....waiting, checking the status everyday. I wish i put a homeing device in it to tell them exactly where the letter was.
Now they finally answer an email inquiring as to the status and say I can email the infromation to them...problem with that....two of my recommendors are on vacation. I want to get this over with. tell me yes or no, get on with student loans and payout and let me pick classes.... I want to be in Grad school. It's one of those damn things where you wait so long for something and the last five minutes waiting (1 month) becomes the most grueling experience you ever have.
sigh...
Now they finally answer an email inquiring as to the status and say I can email the infromation to them...problem with that....two of my recommendors are on vacation. I want to get this over with. tell me yes or no, get on with student loans and payout and let me pick classes.... I want to be in Grad school. It's one of those damn things where you wait so long for something and the last five minutes waiting (1 month) becomes the most grueling experience you ever have.
sigh...
Friday, March 30, 2007
So in love with no other
I don't know why, but today I feel so In love.....not that he did anything in particular that was amazing...just something in the air I guess, that made me write a little something. I haven't written in a while, so it's rusty, but it conveys what i feel when I think of him, or see him. I remember having these feelings when we first started falling for each other....it's nice to feel it again.
I'm so totally in love with him
This man has taken my soul into his
Spinning me around on my toes
I no longer this of another
I am so in love with his swagger
When he walks, I am at attention
Ready to keep in his stride
I no longer walk with another
I am so in love with his voice
His words tremble out like thunder
Shattering the earth in his wake when he says
I no longer will love another
I am so in love with his arms
They comfort & assure me I am safe within them
Surround me with love all night long
I no longer hug another
I am so in love with his spirit
Let a man be a man and do man things
You want the best for me and get the best of me
I no longer let another be
This is the man for me
I am so in love
with you.
I'm so totally in love with him
This man has taken my soul into his
Spinning me around on my toes
I no longer this of another
I am so in love with his swagger
When he walks, I am at attention
Ready to keep in his stride
I no longer walk with another
I am so in love with his voice
His words tremble out like thunder
Shattering the earth in his wake when he says
I no longer will love another
I am so in love with his arms
They comfort & assure me I am safe within them
Surround me with love all night long
I no longer hug another
I am so in love with his spirit
Let a man be a man and do man things
You want the best for me and get the best of me
I no longer let another be
This is the man for me
I am so in love
with you.
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Atlanta here I come!
I got accepted into one of the schools I applied to so at least it's official. i'll be moving to ATL, HOTLANTA. I'm waiting on the second school and then I will possibly have to make a decision between them. Right now, I have absolutely no idea... and i'm doing more research to find out.
But it's a funny thought, me moving out of NY, I've lived here my whole life, and i'm starting to feel apphrehensive about it. But then I get on a crowded train, someone gets cursed out, the temperature drops and I start to feel better about leaving.
So elated about leaving as well that I'm already thinking about what day will be my last day at work. I am Super excited about the day I will hand in my resignation. and if anyone is wondering... Yes, Garette is coming with me to ATL.
Nervousness is starting to creep up but have no fear, this is a positive change that I am welcoming so nothing is going to stop me. But I will miss everyone. Here's to my last Summer in NY!
But it's a funny thought, me moving out of NY, I've lived here my whole life, and i'm starting to feel apphrehensive about it. But then I get on a crowded train, someone gets cursed out, the temperature drops and I start to feel better about leaving.
So elated about leaving as well that I'm already thinking about what day will be my last day at work. I am Super excited about the day I will hand in my resignation. and if anyone is wondering... Yes, Garette is coming with me to ATL.
Nervousness is starting to creep up but have no fear, this is a positive change that I am welcoming so nothing is going to stop me. But I will miss everyone. Here's to my last Summer in NY!
Thursday, March 08, 2007
the medicine of medicine
So the last month has been the worst (medically) in my life probably. One infection lead to another, which lead to another, which had side effects and in the end I now have swollen areas for which both of my doctors quickly stuck me with needles to find out what's wrong now. and of course I'm still on antibiotics. There has to be some limit of the amount of drugs you can take in one month.
But i think I'm just about done, after one chest x-ray, I should be good (provided i get good results from the tests).
Another good thing, I submitted my applications for Grad school. YAYAYAYAYAY! now all i have to do is submit financial aid forms... Geez. If i could just get financial aid for all these prescriptions, I'd be good!
But i think I'm just about done, after one chest x-ray, I should be good (provided i get good results from the tests).
Another good thing, I submitted my applications for Grad school. YAYAYAYAYAY! now all i have to do is submit financial aid forms... Geez. If i could just get financial aid for all these prescriptions, I'd be good!
Thursday, February 08, 2007
a funny thing happened after a phone call
So I was watching One Tree Hill yesterday on the CW11 and the episode was about how an hour with someone can change your life. Before I go on....yes, I’m cheesy and I watch OTH, get over it. Now, in their hour they spent it with a classmate to whom they were assigned and they had a list of things to do/cover within that time. It was all about getting to know you.
After it, they learned something about the other person, something profound that changed the way they view them, themselves and treat each other. In essence, their attitudes changed. Now normally I would say, yea right, whatever....but previous to that I had a phone call.
This phone call was about getting into school for my Masters which has been difficult for the past two years. Monday I was floored, literally crying on the bathroom floor (not lying on the floor circa Lizzie from Grey's Anatomy after Denny died but more so crouching) at work because yet again, I will not be accepted for the 2007 program for the school of my choice simply because I was 3 days after the deadline date. More hope lost, cry, cry, cry, now research other schools.
I came upon a university for psychology and counseling with a campus in
So now with hope back in my heart and a drive to move outta here, I come to work to AGAIN be presented with bullshit which can result in it being "Julia’s fault" (an unfounded phrase which seems to come up a lot more lately). Sick and Tired, and basically not giving a shit cause I’m leaving these assholes to their own madness within a couple of months (I can feel it), I spoke up!
****edited out****.
Funny she brought up, with tenacity, a situation only to realize it was HER booboo.
I'm loving it! All because of a phone call
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
He speaks to me
It's a strange feeling and i get asked about it alot...what made you do it, how did you know? IT cannot be explained, just a feeling, a voice. Something that calls to you and tells you to move...stop....go... and you don't realize that life could be different if you didn't listen.
these moments i can remember and just wonder "geez, if i had driven off, walked ahead, left 5 minutes prior...." but there's a reason for it all and at these times it seems more evident than not. Sometimes it's something that just freezes me, or forces me to look in a direction i wouldn't have....other times... a voice speaks plainly but urgently.
Something was wrong and i knew it....something irked me to the point i couldn't sleep... why wouldn't he answer? Why didn't I hear from him yet...something is wrong. At this point, a lesser person would tell you to stop being a worrywart but something tells you your fears are warranted. Hours later the voice is booming, so you follow....and you find your answer. It's not just relief because you have an answer... it's relief because you knew you were right... you trusted yourself and that nagging voice.
It is at these moments when the unexplained renews your faith, but I've always explained it... it's HIM.
these moments i can remember and just wonder "geez, if i had driven off, walked ahead, left 5 minutes prior...." but there's a reason for it all and at these times it seems more evident than not. Sometimes it's something that just freezes me, or forces me to look in a direction i wouldn't have....other times... a voice speaks plainly but urgently.
Something was wrong and i knew it....something irked me to the point i couldn't sleep... why wouldn't he answer? Why didn't I hear from him yet...something is wrong. At this point, a lesser person would tell you to stop being a worrywart but something tells you your fears are warranted. Hours later the voice is booming, so you follow....and you find your answer. It's not just relief because you have an answer... it's relief because you knew you were right... you trusted yourself and that nagging voice.
It is at these moments when the unexplained renews your faith, but I've always explained it... it's HIM.
Monday, January 22, 2007
Don't judge a color by the box
So I've been feeling like plain jane... nothing spectacular about me, just a pretty girl nothing memorable. because of my locks, regular and cutesy hats don't fit my head so i can't be all that trendy in the wintertime. Then it gets so darn cold that you end up wearing a blanket as a coat so I look like a big camel colored puffball with a brown hat...
to spice it up, i decided to do up my color. my ends were colored an apricot glaze that came out to look cinnamony-ish and it's cute so i figure, extend it through my head and it should look good as well. I've never had my whole head colored so this was a new experience for me. Plus, the last time I went to a shop to color the ends, they charged me for every little thing and that came out to too much $$$.
Thus, Loi and I decided to do it ourselves... with 3 boxes of color Clairol's Texture& Tones Honey Blonde LOL. I have to say the coloring process wasn't a mess at all. No color ran onto the towels or anything, very neat. it didn't take long to color either and dreads are very hard to color through. then, the end result...
I'm still not sure how i feel about it... it's....new.... different.... I'm not sure if i like it yet. But i will post a pic later.What did Garette think... well he looked at the box and said, that's not honey blonde, i thought i was going to come home to Pam anderson.... loser.
to spice it up, i decided to do up my color. my ends were colored an apricot glaze that came out to look cinnamony-ish and it's cute so i figure, extend it through my head and it should look good as well. I've never had my whole head colored so this was a new experience for me. Plus, the last time I went to a shop to color the ends, they charged me for every little thing and that came out to too much $$$.
Thus, Loi and I decided to do it ourselves... with 3 boxes of color Clairol's Texture& Tones Honey Blonde LOL. I have to say the coloring process wasn't a mess at all. No color ran onto the towels or anything, very neat. it didn't take long to color either and dreads are very hard to color through. then, the end result...
I'm still not sure how i feel about it... it's....new.... different.... I'm not sure if i like it yet. But i will post a pic later.What did Garette think... well he looked at the box and said, that's not honey blonde, i thought i was going to come home to Pam anderson.... loser.
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Mazed and Dazed
My grandfather was a police officer in Barbados many moons ago. with that, I've always respected cops because not to would be like to disrespect granddad and that ain't happening. but after last week... FUCK the cops (or at least the NYPD).
The whole system is designed to not keep you down as black people have said for years, but WEAR you down until you give up thus giving them more power. To have you run in circles like a mouse in a maze; the bureaucratic red tape and the idiocy of city workers are at an all time high. No wonder the kids produced today are dumb asses and everyone looks for a "city job", there's no work involved.
They can arrest you and take you to one precinct only to take your stuff to another then 'forget' to give you the information necessary to retrieve it after their 'mistake'. then have you run around the city to three different offices. Office A closes at 4pm and they tell you to come back at 2pm, let you wait around until 3 give you what you need for Office B that closed at 2:30. Try again tomorrow. then Office B opens at 9 but sorry, you didn't make an appt so you'll have to wait.... how can i make an appt when no one wants to give me the number to the office?
wait...keep waiting.... go crazy and then.... "How can we be of assistance today?".... "oh i'm sorry, but you need slip XYZ-40-3978 then make an appt and come back".
GOD I can't wait to move. I'm really starting to HATE New York and this bullshit
The whole system is designed to not keep you down as black people have said for years, but WEAR you down until you give up thus giving them more power. To have you run in circles like a mouse in a maze; the bureaucratic red tape and the idiocy of city workers are at an all time high. No wonder the kids produced today are dumb asses and everyone looks for a "city job", there's no work involved.
They can arrest you and take you to one precinct only to take your stuff to another then 'forget' to give you the information necessary to retrieve it after their 'mistake'. then have you run around the city to three different offices. Office A closes at 4pm and they tell you to come back at 2pm, let you wait around until 3 give you what you need for Office B that closed at 2:30. Try again tomorrow. then Office B opens at 9 but sorry, you didn't make an appt so you'll have to wait.... how can i make an appt when no one wants to give me the number to the office?
wait...keep waiting.... go crazy and then.... "How can we be of assistance today?".... "oh i'm sorry, but you need slip XYZ-40-3978 then make an appt and come back".
GOD I can't wait to move. I'm really starting to HATE New York and this bullshit
Monday, January 08, 2007
he lied to me
but that's to be expected from an ex right. but he's different or at least we're different. there's no need to lie when you're friends and that's all we are. I don't need to be impressed, we've known each other for years. there's no attraction, I'm happy at home.... so why lie?
Sitting there talking about his breakup i thought he grew up, I thought he finally saw the errors in his ways and knew what it takes to keep a relationship. He loved her so much and he was soooo hurt by this, more so than I've ever seen him. He even lost his appetite when we started talking about her. Granted, this was the girl he cheated on me with (does it count as cheating on me when he made me, unknowingly, the other woman?) his emotion was so genuine I wanted to cheer him on make him feel better. Instead i told him the truth... he cheated CONSTANTLY, beyond me there were others, plenty others, stacked up high and you have no right to be mad at her for FINALLY leaving you and your bullshit.
I told him the truth but was proud that he began feeling, that he started to better himself. he grew...it was good, hell it looked good on him (and he did look good). then the next day i read his email (oh pish tosh, it's not my fault he never changed it) and realized....he lied to me.
yes, they broke up, but the circumstances surrounding it is what he lied about. the fact that he agonized over whether or not to respond to her calls or emails when he already did multiple times. the "wondering whether she's calling to be with me or if she's pregnant etc"...when he already knew...what was he looking for from me... it was all a lie.
But I guess if you're looking for sympathy so bad you have to lie...you deserve it, it just won't be for the reasons you expect.
Sitting there talking about his breakup i thought he grew up, I thought he finally saw the errors in his ways and knew what it takes to keep a relationship. He loved her so much and he was soooo hurt by this, more so than I've ever seen him. He even lost his appetite when we started talking about her. Granted, this was the girl he cheated on me with (does it count as cheating on me when he made me, unknowingly, the other woman?) his emotion was so genuine I wanted to cheer him on make him feel better. Instead i told him the truth... he cheated CONSTANTLY, beyond me there were others, plenty others, stacked up high and you have no right to be mad at her for FINALLY leaving you and your bullshit.
I told him the truth but was proud that he began feeling, that he started to better himself. he grew...it was good, hell it looked good on him (and he did look good). then the next day i read his email (oh pish tosh, it's not my fault he never changed it) and realized....he lied to me.
yes, they broke up, but the circumstances surrounding it is what he lied about. the fact that he agonized over whether or not to respond to her calls or emails when he already did multiple times. the "wondering whether she's calling to be with me or if she's pregnant etc"...when he already knew...what was he looking for from me... it was all a lie.
But I guess if you're looking for sympathy so bad you have to lie...you deserve it, it just won't be for the reasons you expect.
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