A day without my phone

A couple of years ago, we didn't have cell phone compartments in our purses. We used quarters in a pay phone. We coordinated where we would meet beforehand and we waited until we got home to converse with our friends about some guy, our day or even what we were wearing to our next event.... Not so much nowadays. Now it seems, people talk on their cell phones everywhere, in the elevator at the doctors office, getting a procedure done anywhere on their bodies, on a date, their cell phones are attached to the ear so the person(s) on the other line knows exactly what's happening, right now.

well, yesterday, totally by accident, I left my cell phone at home. Anyone who knows me knows my cell phone is my communication. I chat on AIM, text constantly, and it's my phone book since I relinquished the task of remembering numbers from my brain and gave it to my cell (or at least the SIM card).

About 2 blocks from my house (and very close to the train station), I realize I do not have my cell phone. "shit, damn" as I stopped, turned around and gave up hope of going back home. "I'll just email ppl so they know". Sitting down in the office I was forced to use the clock on my computer rather than my phone when deciding on whether to greet ppl with "Good Morning...." or "Good Afternoon".

then, when I went to lunch, who would I talk to? Who would chat with me as I waited in line for my chicken sandwich? Silence......
......
......
walking down the street I usually ignore people by chatting on the phone but now I was forced to listen to their comments, which all in all, are pretty flattering once they don't get offended that I didn't stop to talk to them.

it took a good three times to call my boyfriend from my job phone before he answered a number he didn't recognize.

then going to mommi's house, I don't have my key, and I'll have to wait outside for her to answer the door (sometimes it takes a while to get down those stairs). usually I call when I'm walking up the block so she's there waiting for me but this time, I had to act like a visitor. A salesperson who came knocking wanting to introduce a potential buyer to a product that worked like the last one but has been totally re-formatted and is in a cuter bottle.

once I got home, way after 10 pm, I checked my phone... A lot of text messages (the only way to communicate in the twenty-first century). And a picture of a book with someone's name on it from my brother..... Time for him to explain...

yah, shall I make the first call

all in all, the day was pretty freeing without it. I wouldn't do it again if I had pressing plans but I would definitely do it again. I AM NOT A SLAVE!!!!

Stop and smell the stink...

Its only when you stop that you realize the world goes on without you, and the truths you were too busy to see before suddenly become brazenly obvious.

The hardest part is seeing it come from people you love. Whether it's the way they showboat when others are around or how selfish and self-centered they truly are you always knew it on some level but now that you don't have so much taking your focus away not only does it shock you, it disgusts you.

I've seen so much in the past couple of weeks it's amazing to me. After going through a tumultuous week, ending in a heart wrenching Friday which covered itself up by overeating for two days and finally ending with a tonsillitis and the flu on Sunday I'm ready to be alone. All by lonesome at home watching season premieres and series premieres.

Oh and making mosaics with my mosaic team... Love u guys!

Ok I get it

Sometimes I wish GOD had text messaging. My message would be

"OK G, I get it"

lately it seems as if life was getting a bit hard for me to handle. Creditors calling my job (how they got the # I don't know), I owe this, I owe that, rent, bills. I know ppl said it was hard but Geez louise I didn't know how hard.

its so funny how one minute you know where your life is headed, you know what's going to happen and then boom, suddenly nothing seems right, your plans are just ideas and you have no grip on your life. I haven't felt stable in a long time and being a Taurus, that's just a bit confusing.

the trouble being, I'm not happy. geez I went to school for four years, busted my ass in classes to get someone tea and look at me like I have the audacity to look her in the eye. Then I have someone else who speaks very plainly like I don't know how to send a letter FedEx. Mind you, I work in a very small firm and I've come from very big ones so not only do I know how to send a letter, I can type it in 55wpm, format it correctly and use the big words to make it sound overly educated.

so I guess ppls underestimations, underpayment and utterly, my uninterest in this field got to the point where I can't take it anymore. I'm trying not to fall into the depressive state but everything just seems to happen together. And just when you think it's over... BAM here it comes again.

So yea, I'm weighing my options... Do I look for another job now even though I'm leaving in 8-10 months? Do I stay and ask for a raise? Can I stay here without slapping a bitch? Should I get a second job? Will that ultimately be my demise?

I have an interview tomorrow and a phone interview after that. I took the day off as a mental health day cause I'm heading down a dark path and it's not pretty. As I calm down from my latest run-in with an in-house ass, I schedule the interview, then get an email regarding the phone interview literally and hour apart. I'm listening to some gospel and suddenly I'm totally aware of the words of the song "Everything is gonna be alright" from al green playing in my ear. WOW

OK G, I get it... You're taking care of it...

I guess only time will tell

Birthday Shouts

Happy Birthday Denise




we're gonna party cause it's ya birthday.
You got a lot of growing up to do but you're well on your way.... YAY

unfortunately in trying to find something to wear for your shindig, I'm reminded of a horrendous fact... I gained weight. Half of my clothes I can't fit into anymore or don't fit the way they should. It's a sobering reality when you don't have the money to buy a whole new wardrobe. So I guess I have to diet or exercise. Here's the problem. I don't like either. How do I lose weight when I can't motivate myself to go to a gym?

I hate the gym... ppl stare (they do), they watch you cause they forgot to bring their own book to read, they don't get off the damn treadmill when they know they only signed up for a half hour block. I hate going when I have my period. and why is it that I only get the urge to jog when its getting too cold outside to start?

I need help cause this whole diet and exercise thing, I can't do by myself.

Happy ass Mo'Fo's

I've been wanting to write this for a couple of days now but was afraid someone would take it the wrong way. Oh well;

Since Ignorance is bliss.... There are some happy go lucky mutha fuckas walking around assimilating into civilization. Some of them even passing themselves off as my friends... YEA I SAID IT.

Dumb people make me mad.... Ignorant ppl drive me crazy... What's the difference?

Dumb is calling out sick and going shopping around your office
Ignorant is coming upstairs to get your purchases from the day before

Dumb is making a mistake that could have been avoided
Ignorant is letting that mistake stand until it becomes worse when the opportunity to correct it is in front of you

Dumb is not knowing when to stop
Ignorant is taking it too far so not to be topped.

Dumb is getting mad cause I don't agree with you
Ignorant is not talking to me because of it.

Although i rather deal with a dumb person, I'd prefer my friends were sane, together individuals. And I'm trying not to judge... Being ignorant is a state of mind, it doesn't have to be a character until you make it. I'm ignorant to a lot of things but am willing to educate myself on those subjects... Truly ignorant ppl are willing to be content in their ignorance.

but here's another thing, that old saying about birds of a feather... It's true. Look at the character flaw and tell me if that person is your road dog, then ask someone objective if you have that character flaw... Chances are you do. So glad, the ignorant ones are NOT in my inner circle.

September 11th - Let us Pray

Our father
who art in heaven
Hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come
thy will be done
on earth as it is in heaven
Give us this day Our daily Bread
and forgive us our trespasses
as we forgive those who trespass against us
and lead us not into temptation
but deliver us from evil
for thine is the kingdom
the power
and the glory
forever

AMEN.

Things fall apart

I was talking to D'Anthony on the train on my way to work and the subject of me 'retiring' as our group planner and what's going to happen to our little group of friends when I move came up, and it hit me.... Is this the beginning of the end as he seems to think?

It works both ways... I'm moving to a place where I only know one person. I don't have a group of friends like I do here, who is going to eat my desserts? Of course I'm moving with Garette and my brother lives there so there's my answer. Plus my cousin might be moving soon with her BF so I may re-connect there.

but up here, I'm starting to feel like Big Mama from Soul Food trying to prepare her kids to band together since I won't be here forever. But it's true, I am the one that plans the events but I'm not the only one. Loi definitely gets involved big time, Mike loves when we all get together so I'm sure he'll put his requests in, but beyond those two I see individuals getting together but not like we do now. And with all the moves, everyone is going to be in there on space, and with everyone paying more in rent, no one is going out LOL! Especially since no one drives.

So maybe I DO need a job in the educational field. So that I can get my summers off and come back and beat ppl in the ass. For some, the group is more of a family than they have, everyone is more than just a friend, for others, the group is that comfort zone you have when life becomes too serious. For me, my group represents a place where I don't have to be fake or nice, I can be myself. I can say " a little less talking a little more SHUT THE FUCK UP!" and I won't get hit for it, they'd just start laughing...

I'll miss the group.
call me

How do I love thee???

I have weird friends... I guess they're normal by societal standards but to me they're weird people that think about weird things and come up with interesting, albeit popular theories.

at Dinner one night a conversation between the 'male basher' and the 'male defender/woman basher' ensued bringing about the topic "how does one show love to their significant other, without words?"

my answer- "he's in my house"

which was the truth. Let's keep it real for a minute. He's in my house and I want him there, that's love. I cook for him and do the laundry, that's love. He washes the dishes and kills roaches when they dare to appear, that's love. He makes the bed, I mess it up, that's love. I'm not the biggest advocate of PDA's nor do I practice it often but those are ways that I say I love you, without words.

I have two friends, together they are PDA defined, and it's cute for all of 2 minutes after that I'm ready with the hose, but yea you can see, she loves him, he loves her, awwww, blech.
I have another two friends, one doesn't do much, the other is more PDL (public displays of like) and that's a little more comfortable but still ehhh
I'm the quiet type, this I know. I like to steal glances and winks, hold hands while sitting next to each other or cross my legs over him, but the whole kissing and making out in public, nah not for me.

but it got me to thinking, which got me to asking, "Garette, you know I love you right?"

G: of course, why you asking me this?
Me: Cause I don't always say it
G: you don't have to, I know you, I know you do.

that's my boy.

Get on Bad

Ohhhhh my body aches, and it's not for you dirty minded people....

Monday, Labor Day, was the annual West Indian Day Parade in Brooklyn, NY. And if I may say so myself, the best part of the summer. The Jamaican Truck had Beenie man, Sean Paul, Elephant Man, the Barbados truck had Alison Hinds, Rupee and Crossfire.

After Jumping behind the Bajan truck we danced to the sounds of soca for what seemed like eternity but man was I in heaven. I jumped, got on bad, rolled it down and picked it up north like I was single. Cheese on bread I had such a good time and I especially can't wait to get to Barbados in November.

Alison, Alison, save me as a friend on myspace! (pics to come)