I tossed and turned.... so did he.
This living apart thing is not easy. it's only been a couple of days but it's hard when you're accustomed to the same person every day and night. I wondered if it's co-dependency... but I don't think that's it.
I've kept busy in the beginning, painting my room, sponging one wall, driving here and there. Kept myself so busy i was tired and ready to fall asleep every night... until Tuesday night. Being in the house alone, emptying more boxes, reality slapped me in the face and i broke down crying. I would be coming home at this time, getting off the train and walking to my apartment only to be greeted by cooked food a kiss and a teddy bear when i wanted to cuddle.
sleeping is hard, thinking is harder and hearing his voice so far away is the hardest. hearing how sad he feels is extremely difficult. wanting to hug him and knowing i can't hurts like hell, so i give him long distance kisses and non-transferable promises to suffice until we see each other again.
such is sacrifice.
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Thursday, June 21, 2007
my cup runneth over
it's been a while, but it's been busy.
Last week, I had lunch with my execs, dinner with co-workers and a surprise party from my office. It was quite an event i must say. I have never felt so much a part of the company as i did that day. Not to mention they quickly hired someone to replace me that for the day i trained her, seemed to be an idiot. But that is no longer my problem.
Listening to the founder make a short speech about my time in the company (14.5 months) and how valuable i was, i tried my best to keep it together. Nonetheless, i cried. My first real cry about moving and it happened in front of everyone (mostly everyone) in my office. I couldn't' believe i would have such emotions but there they were. I even got gifts. How cool. After work, i took my new school bag and items given to me and went for drinks with more co-workers. I felt like they were friends. I hadn't felt that way the whole time i worked there....such a same. I almost didn't want to say goodbye...
The next night was my going away party. I'll skip the drama inflicted on me by a careless, lying promoter and skip to the good parts.... I got so dang drunk part of the night comes in flashes. Marking my night, the only ppl that truly showed were my closest friends (even those that attempted to and couldn't, even the ppl that called afterwards i appreciated) and an old friend. Mo and her husband showed first, I've known both of them since elementary and jr. high and it was special to see them there.... the best part, knowing once Mo is a friend, she is always a friend. She was one of the girls trying to hoist me off of the toilet in the club and slapping me in the face to keep me conscious outside of the club.
Garette, it meant so much to have him there. I know his issues with my friends, he knows they don't really like him, rather me be without him and that's why he stays away from them. He was my post, he kept me up as much as he could and took care of me all night and all day following as he always does. I started crying when Loi hugged me in the club and ran to cry on Garette's shoulder.... i don't know how I'm going to be apart from him... but i know i will be with him always.
The girls and the boys... my group of familia made sure i went out with a bang. Fireworks and all, i couldn't have imagined a night like that.... I don't want to get that drunk again but we can get close :)
The movers took everything i needed Wednesday and its the night before my flight. Garette held me for an hour while i cried. Being apart from my Mom will be incredibly hard, from my friends too, but most of all from Garette. I've never been this much in love with anyone. No one has taken as much care of me as he has, put me first, looked out for me as much as he has. he calls when it looks like rain to make sure i have an umbrella, make sure i ate, makes sure when i toss and turn in the middle of the night that I'm ok. All the little things mean so much to me, tomorrow is not guaranteed, but i thank GOD that he was brought to me when he was and I hope this is not where the chapter ends but part two in the series begins.
I love you baby
Last week, I had lunch with my execs, dinner with co-workers and a surprise party from my office. It was quite an event i must say. I have never felt so much a part of the company as i did that day. Not to mention they quickly hired someone to replace me that for the day i trained her, seemed to be an idiot. But that is no longer my problem.
Listening to the founder make a short speech about my time in the company (14.5 months) and how valuable i was, i tried my best to keep it together. Nonetheless, i cried. My first real cry about moving and it happened in front of everyone (mostly everyone) in my office. I couldn't' believe i would have such emotions but there they were. I even got gifts. How cool. After work, i took my new school bag and items given to me and went for drinks with more co-workers. I felt like they were friends. I hadn't felt that way the whole time i worked there....such a same. I almost didn't want to say goodbye...
The next night was my going away party. I'll skip the drama inflicted on me by a careless, lying promoter and skip to the good parts.... I got so dang drunk part of the night comes in flashes. Marking my night, the only ppl that truly showed were my closest friends (even those that attempted to and couldn't, even the ppl that called afterwards i appreciated) and an old friend. Mo and her husband showed first, I've known both of them since elementary and jr. high and it was special to see them there.... the best part, knowing once Mo is a friend, she is always a friend. She was one of the girls trying to hoist me off of the toilet in the club and slapping me in the face to keep me conscious outside of the club.
Garette, it meant so much to have him there. I know his issues with my friends, he knows they don't really like him, rather me be without him and that's why he stays away from them. He was my post, he kept me up as much as he could and took care of me all night and all day following as he always does. I started crying when Loi hugged me in the club and ran to cry on Garette's shoulder.... i don't know how I'm going to be apart from him... but i know i will be with him always.
The girls and the boys... my group of familia made sure i went out with a bang. Fireworks and all, i couldn't have imagined a night like that.... I don't want to get that drunk again but we can get close :)
The movers took everything i needed Wednesday and its the night before my flight. Garette held me for an hour while i cried. Being apart from my Mom will be incredibly hard, from my friends too, but most of all from Garette. I've never been this much in love with anyone. No one has taken as much care of me as he has, put me first, looked out for me as much as he has. he calls when it looks like rain to make sure i have an umbrella, make sure i ate, makes sure when i toss and turn in the middle of the night that I'm ok. All the little things mean so much to me, tomorrow is not guaranteed, but i thank GOD that he was brought to me when he was and I hope this is not where the chapter ends but part two in the series begins.
I love you baby
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
She, He and ME
As the train rocked forward it caught my eye. He kept looking up at me as I stood over Them reading my book. They couldn't see me but inside I was laughing so hard. She was into her music, I into my story and He stealing glances....just then....and again. It wasn't until he looked again up and down that she looked too.....Up....and down.....and up again...just her eyes. And I glanced at her.
I figured in my final days I could look like a girl. I could wear a dress, a dress that fell all too well on my figure. A dress that's unforgiving to the unpleasant, and enhances what'cha mama gave ya. A low cut little diddy that had Garette looking at me with the same eye he gave me. "Where are you going?".... Just to dinner afterwork babe, then you can take it off :)
Judging by their reactions, the dress was hot and She proceeded to whisper something in his ear...."the girl in front of us....." was all i could hear....then his eyes again...up and down. Her head motioned towards me, and she kept talking about me.... and I just watched them. I wanted to say "be easy, I have my own at home" but I let her do what she needed to to stay secure.
She held his hand tighter, two pairs of eyes glanced one more time, then she kept talking so he only looked at her.
I figured in my final days I could look like a girl. I could wear a dress, a dress that fell all too well on my figure. A dress that's unforgiving to the unpleasant, and enhances what'cha mama gave ya. A low cut little diddy that had Garette looking at me with the same eye he gave me. "Where are you going?".... Just to dinner afterwork babe, then you can take it off :)
Judging by their reactions, the dress was hot and She proceeded to whisper something in his ear...."the girl in front of us....." was all i could hear....then his eyes again...up and down. Her head motioned towards me, and she kept talking about me.... and I just watched them. I wanted to say "be easy, I have my own at home" but I let her do what she needed to to stay secure.
She held his hand tighter, two pairs of eyes glanced one more time, then she kept talking so he only looked at her.
Monday, June 11, 2007
finale or a new beginning?
watching the Sopranos series finale I was conflicted. Many people I heard did not like the ending....i thought it was great. It was like ending it without really ending it.
***episode spoilers ahead... do not read if you have it Tivo'd***
To put it in perspective, i will have you recall the episode in Episode 80 Season 6 (current and final season) where the feds discover a body which was buried 25 years ago by Tony and the ever talkative Paulie. In letting Carmela know he had to skedaddle for a short while, she says "It's just, this is what life is still like, at our age?"
That is what the final episode was...the answer to that question. there could be no more final end for Phil and Justice was due. No offense, but that shit was awesome. Janice is back to her manipulative ways again, trying to keep Bobby's kids so she won't be alone and also, so they won't leave with what's theirs. In the final scene, everyone is shifty. Tony keeps watching the door as person after person walks in, waiting for his family to come in one by one. Always looking over your shoulder, living in peace in between tumultuous times. and as Meadow finally walks in...........it's over. No fade to black, no nice family moment.........just darkness and just like that, the Sopranos came to a finale. they left you wanting more and left your imagination running with the script.
nice job.
***episode spoilers ahead... do not read if you have it Tivo'd***
To put it in perspective, i will have you recall the episode in Episode 80 Season 6 (current and final season) where the feds discover a body which was buried 25 years ago by Tony and the ever talkative Paulie. In letting Carmela know he had to skedaddle for a short while, she says "It's just, this is what life is still like, at our age?"
That is what the final episode was...the answer to that question. there could be no more final end for Phil and Justice was due. No offense, but that shit was awesome. Janice is back to her manipulative ways again, trying to keep Bobby's kids so she won't be alone and also, so they won't leave with what's theirs. In the final scene, everyone is shifty. Tony keeps watching the door as person after person walks in, waiting for his family to come in one by one. Always looking over your shoulder, living in peace in between tumultuous times. and as Meadow finally walks in...........it's over. No fade to black, no nice family moment.........just darkness and just like that, the Sopranos came to a finale. they left you wanting more and left your imagination running with the script.
nice job.
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
what about your fam?
I thought what was messed up was when my cousins planned to travel and get together amongst themselves leaving me out of the picture. I thought it was even more messed up when one proceeded to tell me all about their plans and what fun they would have, all the cousins together... but it doesn't compare to calling and asking me about where I stayed the last time I was there and if I had any suggestions for them....
and still, not once did anyone say "would you like to come?" although at this point it might result in a click of the phone or a slap to the face. Either way, it would be as much as they're giving me right now.
and still, not once did anyone say "would you like to come?" although at this point it might result in a click of the phone or a slap to the face. Either way, it would be as much as they're giving me right now.
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
The Interview
Was not worth $209 ... it was barely 30 minutes and at the end i was left feeling well, less than orgasmic. It was like being with a man who lied about the size of his....him.
It took an hour to get there (mapquest, yahoo maps, msn maps..they're all crap). Driving in the HOV lane definitely has it's benefits however, being that i would have to drive by myself, I was NOT liking the traffic situation. coming from the South side to the north presented its problems awfully quickly (more like at a snails pace up the 75).
My interviewer Dave sat me down right away, prepped me for a minute and then the Operations manager came in with the girl who is currently in the position, Sarah. Tip #1, always look at the people who are interviewing you... if they can't dress up for you, or even do their eyebrows, it's not a positive sign. I wanted to crawl across the conference table with a pair of tweezers and have at it.
After the basic rundown of her day/week (which is basically, same thing every day... no change, monotony to it's best) she left and it was me and Susie. Nice lady, laugh laugh laugh, talk talk talk, relate some and it was over.... Waaaat...
What i was more pissed about however, was that the mall a hop skip and jump away, wasn't open yet and NO WHERE showed signs of food. Geez. So i hopped on a train went to the airport where big bruddah picked me up. yes, there are trains in Atlanta. Pretty easy too, North to South and East to West.
So that was that. the Big interview... Sucked. I wouldn't take it if they offered it to me anyway. Why leave a NY job to go to the same NY job. I need something different. This time, I pledge to take the opportunity to be picky. So i guess i did get something out of this trip.... now i know what to say Hell Noo to.
It took an hour to get there (mapquest, yahoo maps, msn maps..they're all crap). Driving in the HOV lane definitely has it's benefits however, being that i would have to drive by myself, I was NOT liking the traffic situation. coming from the South side to the north presented its problems awfully quickly (more like at a snails pace up the 75).
My interviewer Dave sat me down right away, prepped me for a minute and then the Operations manager came in with the girl who is currently in the position, Sarah. Tip #1, always look at the people who are interviewing you... if they can't dress up for you, or even do their eyebrows, it's not a positive sign. I wanted to crawl across the conference table with a pair of tweezers and have at it.
After the basic rundown of her day/week (which is basically, same thing every day... no change, monotony to it's best) she left and it was me and Susie. Nice lady, laugh laugh laugh, talk talk talk, relate some and it was over.... Waaaat...
What i was more pissed about however, was that the mall a hop skip and jump away, wasn't open yet and NO WHERE showed signs of food. Geez. So i hopped on a train went to the airport where big bruddah picked me up. yes, there are trains in Atlanta. Pretty easy too, North to South and East to West.
So that was that. the Big interview... Sucked. I wouldn't take it if they offered it to me anyway. Why leave a NY job to go to the same NY job. I need something different. This time, I pledge to take the opportunity to be picky. So i guess i did get something out of this trip.... now i know what to say Hell Noo to.
Friday, June 01, 2007
my expansion
I'm off to Atlanta this weekend... it's going to be hot!
In changing over my winter clothes to summer, I realized that like most people I've gained weight. Not that its all bad, but still, my clothes from last summer won't fit the same.at least i get to shop for new ones.
So off to Conway I went with a little bit of money for some cheap shirts... they never have what I want when i have the money to get it... I hate that, but either way, you can find some good stuff when you really look through the clutter. And don't forget, elbows up, you saw it first.
but i digress, the child in me, never got passed "the new". Every time my mom brought home new clothes, i had to try them on ASAP. So when i find myself in the bathroom at work trying on my new dudes, i can't help but laugh... I'm so damn corny.
well, at least I'll be able to exchange what doesn't fit after work.
In changing over my winter clothes to summer, I realized that like most people I've gained weight. Not that its all bad, but still, my clothes from last summer won't fit the same.at least i get to shop for new ones.
So off to Conway I went with a little bit of money for some cheap shirts... they never have what I want when i have the money to get it... I hate that, but either way, you can find some good stuff when you really look through the clutter. And don't forget, elbows up, you saw it first.
but i digress, the child in me, never got passed "the new". Every time my mom brought home new clothes, i had to try them on ASAP. So when i find myself in the bathroom at work trying on my new dudes, i can't help but laugh... I'm so damn corny.
well, at least I'll be able to exchange what doesn't fit after work.
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
jetsetter
Surreal moment #151
It is happening. Lady, you are moving and going to school and getting a job in another part of the country. It is happening.
nothing to snap you into what you try to avoid feeling like a job interview. So today I get an email, simple and plain... "Saw your resume, want to speak with you about an opportunity." Sounds simple enough, Kinda looks like spam but why don't I check it out. So I email them back, attach my full resume (why do they ask for your resume when they've already seen it), and schedule a call for today.
Silly me to think its a simple call, no it's a first step for the interview (i'm waaaay to laid back lately). He's asking questions, I answer, talk talk talk, charm charm charm and he's sending my resume to his operations manager for further consult. Can you come down for a formal interview? sure, no prob, i'll be there soon anyway.
He calls back 45 minutes later asking to see me this Monday June 4th at 9am. "can you be here by then".... geez. and so it sets in...
I'm moving (deep breath)
I'm looking for another job (deep breath)
I'm going to school (deeeeeper breath)
I'm freaking out
It is happening. Lady, you are moving and going to school and getting a job in another part of the country. It is happening.
nothing to snap you into what you try to avoid feeling like a job interview. So today I get an email, simple and plain... "Saw your resume, want to speak with you about an opportunity." Sounds simple enough, Kinda looks like spam but why don't I check it out. So I email them back, attach my full resume (why do they ask for your resume when they've already seen it), and schedule a call for today.
Silly me to think its a simple call, no it's a first step for the interview (i'm waaaay to laid back lately). He's asking questions, I answer, talk talk talk, charm charm charm and he's sending my resume to his operations manager for further consult. Can you come down for a formal interview? sure, no prob, i'll be there soon anyway.
He calls back 45 minutes later asking to see me this Monday June 4th at 9am. "can you be here by then".... geez. and so it sets in...
I'm moving (deep breath)
I'm looking for another job (deep breath)
I'm going to school (deeeeeper breath)
I'm freaking out
Thursday, May 24, 2007
rage against the man
Why do we rejoice when a company loses? We want to see it go down...
We being the common (wo)man...the ones who receive a paycheck instead of signing them. We like to see "the man" get taken down a peg or two. "Good for them" we exclaim as slowly but surely they become a shell of their former glorious selves. "they should have done this", "they shouldn't have done that" we say in matter-of-fact tones, but aren't we all striving to be "the man".
Or maybe it's just where i work.
This rage-against-the-machine moment has been brought to you by the employees of TS otherwise known as my soon-to-be former co-workers. When a person quits/resigns, it serves as inspiration, a kick in the pants to say, this is not the end of the road. It seems my leaving in conjunction with management being ASS-hoooooooles (see Meet the Fockers) was enough to have a handful of people relay their wishes to get the hell outta this place.
I mean really, it's a small company, there's not much room to move up unless you're sleeping with one of management and there's only one single guy there (or is he? ;) ). So basically you're just here to put in a paycheck for the rest of your lives. Oh the fun. But then again I still have yet to work in a place that i really like...environment and all, but that's why I'm going back to school....
what are you going to do? Rage ON!
We being the common (wo)man...the ones who receive a paycheck instead of signing them. We like to see "the man" get taken down a peg or two. "Good for them" we exclaim as slowly but surely they become a shell of their former glorious selves. "they should have done this", "they shouldn't have done that" we say in matter-of-fact tones, but aren't we all striving to be "the man".
Or maybe it's just where i work.
This rage-against-the-machine moment has been brought to you by the employees of TS otherwise known as my soon-to-be former co-workers. When a person quits/resigns, it serves as inspiration, a kick in the pants to say, this is not the end of the road. It seems my leaving in conjunction with management being ASS-hoooooooles (see Meet the Fockers) was enough to have a handful of people relay their wishes to get the hell outta this place.
I mean really, it's a small company, there's not much room to move up unless you're sleeping with one of management and there's only one single guy there (or is he? ;) ). So basically you're just here to put in a paycheck for the rest of your lives. Oh the fun. But then again I still have yet to work in a place that i really like...environment and all, but that's why I'm going back to school....
what are you going to do? Rage ON!
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
one pregnancy-free day
this may sound incredibly evil and awful of me to say...but i will.
I have a friend that is pregnant. In her first pregnancy last year, she lost the baby. I don't know from experience and hope to never know what it's like to lose a baby but it must be excruciating. She is now preggers again... about 16 weeks. Here comes the bad part...
If she doesn't shut up for one damn day about this pregnancy i will be forced to chuck her from my friends list. Every day...two or three posts...no normal convo's....just about her being pregnant with stubby (although that name is hella cute).
Im not evil and i've had plenty of friends who were pregnant but they weren't this annoying. geez She has pages on those baby sites (babycenter.com) where she can converse with other preggers and show off her belly etc.... leave me alone dammit.
I have a friend that is pregnant. In her first pregnancy last year, she lost the baby. I don't know from experience and hope to never know what it's like to lose a baby but it must be excruciating. She is now preggers again... about 16 weeks. Here comes the bad part...
If she doesn't shut up for one damn day about this pregnancy i will be forced to chuck her from my friends list. Every day...two or three posts...no normal convo's....just about her being pregnant with stubby (although that name is hella cute).
Im not evil and i've had plenty of friends who were pregnant but they weren't this annoying. geez She has pages on those baby sites (babycenter.com) where she can converse with other preggers and show off her belly etc.... leave me alone dammit.
what's my thing
i've been inspired... to do what i'm not really sure.
I found this wonderful blog, Ismoyo's Playground where Ismoyo got a sewing machine from her parents and began sewing things together. little projects like making two shirts into a dress (tre cool) to little purses, to little animals... and i'm so jealous.
Everyone has their 'thing'. Mike is into anything that will make him money and right now that means going back to school, while buying a house and being a landlord. Loi has her painting, Lupe has her new house, decorating it and being creative painting it, plus she's a gym freak. Even Garette has his music (Downloading, makig playlists/CDs) but alas, I have no 'thing'.
I hate having stuff and doing things that other people have/do. i like orignality but I'm seriously thinking of taking my mom's sewing machine with me to occupy my time (she has three). I mean shoot, maybe sleeves will actually fit me now.
I made my curtains at home (time for me to make more i might add) so i think i can move on and start with some easy patterns. We shall see. I'm hopeful, but I also have the attention span of cat...
I found this wonderful blog, Ismoyo's Playground where Ismoyo got a sewing machine from her parents and began sewing things together. little projects like making two shirts into a dress (tre cool) to little purses, to little animals... and i'm so jealous.
Everyone has their 'thing'. Mike is into anything that will make him money and right now that means going back to school, while buying a house and being a landlord. Loi has her painting, Lupe has her new house, decorating it and being creative painting it, plus she's a gym freak. Even Garette has his music (Downloading, makig playlists/CDs) but alas, I have no 'thing'.
I hate having stuff and doing things that other people have/do. i like orignality but I'm seriously thinking of taking my mom's sewing machine with me to occupy my time (she has three). I mean shoot, maybe sleeves will actually fit me now.
I made my curtains at home (time for me to make more i might add) so i think i can move on and start with some easy patterns. We shall see. I'm hopeful, but I also have the attention span of cat...
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
and so it begins
Handing in your resignation from a job you can barely stand is one of the most freeing, take a bow you've earned it baby, kiss my ass experiences you can have in your life. Slamming it down like you're playing dominoes with abuelita and her over 70's crew is just the low-fat, no guilt icing with sprinkles.
I'm done, I'm actually almost outta here. A bit formal for a small company but still I want to keep my skills in tact before I leave and take all the laziness with me. In a month (a bit less), June 15 will be my last day at TS. I've been hearing alot of the "what are we going to do without you" bits, but I'm pretty sure, within a week, I'll just be "that tall girl that used to put up with Frazzle Dazzle".
Either way, I'm super excited about starting school and starting everything over again. My hand is firmly resting above my 'reset' button and I'm just waiting to slam it down.
I'm done, I'm actually almost outta here. A bit formal for a small company but still I want to keep my skills in tact before I leave and take all the laziness with me. In a month (a bit less), June 15 will be my last day at TS. I've been hearing alot of the "what are we going to do without you" bits, but I'm pretty sure, within a week, I'll just be "that tall girl that used to put up with Frazzle Dazzle".
Either way, I'm super excited about starting school and starting everything over again. My hand is firmly resting above my 'reset' button and I'm just waiting to slam it down.
Friday, May 11, 2007
the gift of gay
I'm sitting there watching an episode of 'According to Jim' as the wife Cheryl tries to get her husband Jim to go to a musical with her since her sister just had a baby. Jim quickly informs her that she needs a male gay friend that can do this stuff with her, cause he ain't gonna.
and that's when it happened... my mom turned to me and said "I want a gay friend"
of all the things she could have said she wanted, especially with mothers day coming up, a gay friend.... more specifically "not one that's out and out... more so with one foot in and one foot out the closet" LMAO, my typical 'Republican Gay' male. Not flaming, but is what he is without all the fanfare... Mike and D, my gays, are too young for her she said, one her own age.
the more i think of it, the more she's right. Most of her friends either moved away or are so involved with other things, she's basically alone. She barely goes out unless it's with me on the weekends. I hate to move to ATL and leave her for so long only coming up once a month. Yes, she needs a gay, but where oh where do i find one her age? it's hard enough for women my age to find straight men.
So, are there any applications open for a fag hag/flame dame/fruit fly?
and that's when it happened... my mom turned to me and said "I want a gay friend"
of all the things she could have said she wanted, especially with mothers day coming up, a gay friend.... more specifically "not one that's out and out... more so with one foot in and one foot out the closet" LMAO, my typical 'Republican Gay' male. Not flaming, but is what he is without all the fanfare... Mike and D, my gays, are too young for her she said, one her own age.
the more i think of it, the more she's right. Most of her friends either moved away or are so involved with other things, she's basically alone. She barely goes out unless it's with me on the weekends. I hate to move to ATL and leave her for so long only coming up once a month. Yes, she needs a gay, but where oh where do i find one her age? it's hard enough for women my age to find straight men.
So, are there any applications open for a fag hag/flame dame/fruit fly?
Thursday, May 10, 2007
surprises
so everything about my birthday activities...either the day of or Saturday the 12th are a mystery to me. My good friends planned it all and all i have to do is show up looking cute. Sounds fun to me... I love being spoiled.
except, the more it comes down to Saturday the more I gotta know...is what i'm planning to wear appropriate? Do i need my flats to get down afterwards? I wanna get down.... i want to dance and be cute... Its my week and next week is Jennie's.
except, the more it comes down to Saturday the more I gotta know...is what i'm planning to wear appropriate? Do i need my flats to get down afterwards? I wanna get down.... i want to dance and be cute... Its my week and next week is Jennie's.
Monday, May 07, 2007
birthday wishes and caviar dreams
Today is my bday.... 27 years on this earth and still feeling lost. The day begins normally, with me being late since i told them i'd work 8-5 instead of 9-6 today. I ended up arriving about 8:30 but who cares... i'm still leaving early. It's my birthday.
I don't need to do anything special since I would rather get my gift to myself but that will have to wait yet another week. I promise you, when I can devulge the bday secret, I will, but not until I have it for sure... I hate jinxing things.
I've been on the phone all night with Birthday wishes and shooting the breeze and texting all morning with other folks and listening to birthday songs.... LOL i hate singing happy birthday in a group, but friends and family singing loudly on the phone always seems to work for me.
The plus is that frazzle dazzle is out of the office this week and his wife is being induced into labor as I write this... Leave it to Frazzle to take my bday shine away.
As for bday wishes... see below. I noticed that some of my bday wishes are coming true,especially the one about Paris Hilton. Long live the justice system huh!
UPDATE: Actually i've hardly been at my desk today. With Lupe stopping by to take me for Bday coffee, then My co-workers took me to lunch, My Boss will surprise me with brownies and ice cream in a minute (they are horrible at surprises which is why i know about it), and i leave at 5 for more bday treats... I'm loving today!
and Frazzle Dazzle's baby just took my shine. Not only because it was born, but because it was supposed to be a girl and it came out a BOY. So all hail miracle baby
- External CD/DVD Burner*
- AFLAC insurance
- silicone 10 piece baking set
- peace on earth
- New Monopoly game (Here & Now)
- That new Wii game so I can beat myself up and get sent to the hospital like everyone else and I can have days off from work.
- lot's and lots of cute shirts *
- A Shoe Room
- Jay-z (not the CD, not the poster, the man w/o the B)
- Brown and Black leather belts.
- a Karaoke machine
- Goodwill towards women (I already have goodwill towards men! LOL)
- $$$$$
- a niece or nephew (ahem)
- Isaiah Thomas fired from the Knicks
- Mosaic Tiles for art projects
- Nicole Ritchie to eat something
- My own television show so i can tell people off when they make me mad
- Money, alot of money
- Britney Spears to cover herself up... you're someone's mama
- To take over for the drunk Miss America
- a trainer
- Some lunch, I'm hungry right now
- a Bedroom
- nap time at work
- Boots, lots and lots of Boots
- Febreeze for the stinky people on the train
- Ban Paris Hilton from America
- a one day pass to slap all stupid ppl who try to talk to me.
- a PSP
- a decorator to help me with my apt
- someone to pack my stuff for me
- the flu shot (just because you never know)
- get my tonsils taken out
- a new car, like new new, factory new, 0 miles
- equality
- warm Dutch apple pie with milk
- an energy drink...
- an assistant at work
- My boss to get fired
- Have Bobby Brown tested….for everything
- some more money
- a good financial aid package
- The Gov't to pay for school
- Shoes
- A suga daddy to pay for school
- a pair of ruby shoes so when I'm somewhere I don't want to be I can click them and be home
- Barack Obama and Hilary Clinton on the same ticket... Our first woman president and a black man as vice president. Bigots and Racists will dop dead or have heart attacks throughout the US forcing a national heathcare plan LOL
- Did I mention a new car?
- A good job, and if possible, a good experience at a job
- A sock with stuff in it so I can hit people over the head and say "Julie don't play dat"
- a really big Clock (not attached to the flava fool)
- people to mind their business
- people to tell me stuff so I can gossip about their business
- a new "F*ck off" t-shirt
- a new dirty pool hall place
- Oprah to admit she's not down with the people
- Michael Jackson to admit those ain't his kids
- the men with 'hats' (wink wink) to stop being A-holes in my neighborhood
- to see someone fart with a lighter down there and it shoot off like a flamethrower heehee
- for people to write in their blogs on a consistent basis… I mean really, what else do I read at work?
- a vacation with my feet in the sand
- handbags
- to be the one to tell Eddie Murphy… "you ARE the father"
- to watch white people in hip hop dance classes
- Money just because
- to tell a story without being rudely interrupted…. (ahem)
- a house
- a cooking class
- for my mom to move with me
- for my grandparents to move with me...where else will I get cou cou
- to turn back time
- learn how to hypnotize people and have them running around like farm animals
- to meet bruh man from the fif floor
- Kick Sanjaya OFF American idol (i wrote this a couple of weeks ago)
- for the courts to make an example out of Paris Hilton and not Brandy
- people to stop using the N word
- ohhh, those food saver contraptions
- George Bush to resign
- Cheney to get lost in Afghanistan
- and i guess our troops to come home...
I don't need to do anything special since I would rather get my gift to myself but that will have to wait yet another week. I promise you, when I can devulge the bday secret, I will, but not until I have it for sure... I hate jinxing things.
I've been on the phone all night with Birthday wishes and shooting the breeze and texting all morning with other folks and listening to birthday songs.... LOL i hate singing happy birthday in a group, but friends and family singing loudly on the phone always seems to work for me.
The plus is that frazzle dazzle is out of the office this week and his wife is being induced into labor as I write this... Leave it to Frazzle to take my bday shine away.
As for bday wishes... see below. I noticed that some of my bday wishes are coming true,especially the one about Paris Hilton. Long live the justice system huh!
UPDATE: Actually i've hardly been at my desk today. With Lupe stopping by to take me for Bday coffee, then My co-workers took me to lunch, My Boss will surprise me with brownies and ice cream in a minute (they are horrible at surprises which is why i know about it), and i leave at 5 for more bday treats... I'm loving today!
and Frazzle Dazzle's baby just took my shine. Not only because it was born, but because it was supposed to be a girl and it came out a BOY. So all hail miracle baby
- External CD/DVD Burner*
- AFLAC insurance
- silicone 10 piece baking set
- peace on earth
- New Monopoly game (Here & Now)
- That new Wii game so I can beat myself up and get sent to the hospital like everyone else and I can have days off from work.
- lot's and lots of cute shirts *
- A Shoe Room
- Jay-z (not the CD, not the poster, the man w/o the B)
- Brown and Black leather belts.
- a Karaoke machine
- Goodwill towards women (I already have goodwill towards men! LOL)
- $$$$$
- a niece or nephew (ahem)
- Isaiah Thomas fired from the Knicks
- Mosaic Tiles for art projects
- Nicole Ritchie to eat something
- My own television show so i can tell people off when they make me mad
- Money, alot of money
- Britney Spears to cover herself up... you're someone's mama
- To take over for the drunk Miss America
- a trainer
- Some lunch, I'm hungry right now
- a Bedroom
- nap time at work
- Boots, lots and lots of Boots
- Febreeze for the stinky people on the train
- Ban Paris Hilton from America
- a one day pass to slap all stupid ppl who try to talk to me.
- a PSP
- a decorator to help me with my apt
- someone to pack my stuff for me
- the flu shot (just because you never know)
- get my tonsils taken out
- a new car, like new new, factory new, 0 miles
- equality
- warm Dutch apple pie with milk
- an energy drink...
- an assistant at work
- My boss to get fired
- Have Bobby Brown tested….for everything
- some more money
- a good financial aid package
- The Gov't to pay for school
- Shoes
- A suga daddy to pay for school
- a pair of ruby shoes so when I'm somewhere I don't want to be I can click them and be home
- Barack Obama and Hilary Clinton on the same ticket... Our first woman president and a black man as vice president. Bigots and Racists will dop dead or have heart attacks throughout the US forcing a national heathcare plan LOL
- Did I mention a new car?
- A good job, and if possible, a good experience at a job
- A sock with stuff in it so I can hit people over the head and say "Julie don't play dat"
- a really big Clock (not attached to the flava fool)
- people to mind their business
- people to tell me stuff so I can gossip about their business
- a new "F*ck off" t-shirt
- a new dirty pool hall place
- Oprah to admit she's not down with the people
- Michael Jackson to admit those ain't his kids
- the men with 'hats' (wink wink) to stop being A-holes in my neighborhood
- to see someone fart with a lighter down there and it shoot off like a flamethrower heehee
- for people to write in their blogs on a consistent basis… I mean really, what else do I read at work?
- a vacation with my feet in the sand
- handbags
- to be the one to tell Eddie Murphy… "you ARE the father"
- to watch white people in hip hop dance classes
- Money just because
- to tell a story without being rudely interrupted…. (ahem)
- a house
- a cooking class
- for my mom to move with me
- for my grandparents to move with me...where else will I get cou cou
- to turn back time
- learn how to hypnotize people and have them running around like farm animals
- to meet bruh man from the fif floor
- Kick Sanjaya OFF American idol (i wrote this a couple of weeks ago)
- for the courts to make an example out of Paris Hilton and not Brandy
- people to stop using the N word
- ohhh, those food saver contraptions
- George Bush to resign
- Cheney to get lost in Afghanistan
- and i guess our troops to come home...
Friday, April 27, 2007
random stuff from a bored employee
I'm eating yogurt at my desk with a fork.... mostly because these f-ers at work failed to let me know we were out of spoons, and knives...but we have a shitload of forks.
My friends sent an email regarding my bday to other friends.... activity, date and time.... I only knew the date.... i found out the time... now to find out the activity. I know i told them to plan it but I'm nosey...it's a case of the little sister. What's even better... My cousin is going to do my hair for $25...yayay.
Then... I got 4 tickets for a Friday Night party boat cruise around NY the Friday before they take me out... But i might give those away for tickets to see Sanchez and Tony Curtis at BBKings on the 11th. Looks like my Bday weekend will be something to remember, if i don't drink too much.
I MIGHT take off my bday, we'll see how things go but if i don't, then I'm taking off May 11th. either way, there's a three day weekend to be had.
no more random thoughts... i'm off to read gossip for the next hour and a half
My friends sent an email regarding my bday to other friends.... activity, date and time.... I only knew the date.... i found out the time... now to find out the activity. I know i told them to plan it but I'm nosey...it's a case of the little sister. What's even better... My cousin is going to do my hair for $25...yayay.
Then... I got 4 tickets for a Friday Night party boat cruise around NY the Friday before they take me out... But i might give those away for tickets to see Sanchez and Tony Curtis at BBKings on the 11th. Looks like my Bday weekend will be something to remember, if i don't drink too much.
I MIGHT take off my bday, we'll see how things go but if i don't, then I'm taking off May 11th. either way, there's a three day weekend to be had.
no more random thoughts... i'm off to read gossip for the next hour and a half
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Changes i been going through
So much is changing and so fast... Previously we gave ourselves time to adjust, now it seems as if we have to speed up time. I can no longer wait for things to happen... for happiness to come. As much as you want to let things just roll off your back, they won't because you're still here and still being affected.
It feels as though my life is on hold listening to easy music as I wait for someone, somewhere to give me an answer so I can proceed. Well since that annoys me so damn much, i've made my decision to leave in June. I cannot sit at this desk much longer, I cannot wait for Clark Atlanta to run their office with efficency. I need to leave and I need to go soon. I can't wait for a change to come, I need to make it.
I make the decision on when to start my life and that is now.
with that said... help me sell my furniture... :(
It feels as though my life is on hold listening to easy music as I wait for someone, somewhere to give me an answer so I can proceed. Well since that annoys me so damn much, i've made my decision to leave in June. I cannot sit at this desk much longer, I cannot wait for Clark Atlanta to run their office with efficency. I need to leave and I need to go soon. I can't wait for a change to come, I need to make it.
I make the decision on when to start my life and that is now.
with that said... help me sell my furniture... :(
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Hip Hop: an attack on Bullshit
I am so damn sick of it... Let's now attack hip hop because Damn Imus said "nappy headed hoes"... well guess what? he was wrong, but he should NOT have been fired for it. He's a damn shock jock for pete's sake and he did just that...shocked the crap out of everyone and left their jaws scraping the floor. he's misogynistic and that's his problem, you don't like him, turn him off HOWEVER, the first amendment right has to be protected otherwise we might as well start adopting the policies of the countries we're so comfortable invading.
Back to the attack on hip hop.... cut this shit out. Now i don't agree with rappers calling women bitches and hoes...but hey, i call women bitches and hoes. I am not a bitch (never have been, never will be), i can be bitchy but I'm not a bitch and as for being a Hoe... you damn sure ain't talking to me. But guess what.... they exist. Hoes are out there, they've always been; so when 50 cent or anyone else for that matter says, "this hoe is jockin me", i know he's talking about them, not me.
showing Here's my thing, Rock n' Roll depicted half naked women first with all the bleached blond hair and neon bikinis. Hip hop started with depicting their current life conditions with notable NWACompton for what it was to an audience who never saw it. After Hip hop began gaining notoriety, they included the half naked women, they used women as tools in their videos and exploited them. They did the same thing as Rock n' Roll artists only, hip hop made it popular. But here's the clincher... THOSE WOMEN EXPLOITED THEMSELVES. Be it for 15 minutes of fame, money, lifestyle, these women put themselves in the position to be used in videos and depicted as whores. When the hoes stop coming after the artists with money and fame, then the artists can't talk about them anymore.... Fix the hoes
As to the effect on kids.... it's called PARENTING. I for one, was not allowed to go to kids houses where my mom did not know the parents, and most of the kids houses i was allowed to go to their parents were as strict as mine on what we were allowed to watch. Cable and satellite are equipped with channel blockers so you can monitor what your kids view. Shoot, use them it's part of your service package. As for the radio, it's time to have open dialogue with your kids. Children are a lot smarter nowadays and comprehend faster than ever before. You can discuss with your kids once you start hearing them repeating the lyrics of these songs, what they mean, what is acceptable and what is not. You know how i learned not to curse... Once while singing a song, i cursed (in the lyrics) and my mother slapped me over the head and said "don't ever let me hear you say something like that again"... I STILL don't curse in front of her.
Hip hop is not the enemy, I refuse to let people make an example out of it like they did to Damn Imus. I agree, there needs to be a change and accountability, but first hold yourselves accountable for your part in it.
I had more to say but since I'm at work, i kept getting interrupted... so this is To Be Continued
Back to the attack on hip hop.... cut this shit out. Now i don't agree with rappers calling women bitches and hoes...but hey, i call women bitches and hoes. I am not a bitch (never have been, never will be), i can be bitchy but I'm not a bitch and as for being a Hoe... you damn sure ain't talking to me. But guess what.... they exist. Hoes are out there, they've always been; so when 50 cent or anyone else for that matter says, "this hoe is jockin me", i know he's talking about them, not me.
showing Here's my thing, Rock n' Roll depicted half naked women first with all the bleached blond hair and neon bikinis. Hip hop started with depicting their current life conditions with notable NWACompton for what it was to an audience who never saw it. After Hip hop began gaining notoriety, they included the half naked women, they used women as tools in their videos and exploited them. They did the same thing as Rock n' Roll artists only, hip hop made it popular. But here's the clincher... THOSE WOMEN EXPLOITED THEMSELVES. Be it for 15 minutes of fame, money, lifestyle, these women put themselves in the position to be used in videos and depicted as whores. When the hoes stop coming after the artists with money and fame, then the artists can't talk about them anymore.... Fix the hoes
As to the effect on kids.... it's called PARENTING. I for one, was not allowed to go to kids houses where my mom did not know the parents, and most of the kids houses i was allowed to go to their parents were as strict as mine on what we were allowed to watch. Cable and satellite are equipped with channel blockers so you can monitor what your kids view. Shoot, use them it's part of your service package. As for the radio, it's time to have open dialogue with your kids. Children are a lot smarter nowadays and comprehend faster than ever before. You can discuss with your kids once you start hearing them repeating the lyrics of these songs, what they mean, what is acceptable and what is not. You know how i learned not to curse... Once while singing a song, i cursed (in the lyrics) and my mother slapped me over the head and said "don't ever let me hear you say something like that again"... I STILL don't curse in front of her.
Hip hop is not the enemy, I refuse to let people make an example out of it like they did to Damn Imus. I agree, there needs to be a change and accountability, but first hold yourselves accountable for your part in it.
I, Lady from the Blogspot, agree to do my best to stop calling women Bitches. It will not happen overnight, but a change will come.I can never stop calling certain women AND men hoes b/c that person may actually be one. Oh yea, as for the Spelman women on the Oprah show, so enraged by all of this... Don't let me catch any one of you in the club in ATL bumping and grinding, dropping it like its hot or leaning and rocking with it in the club after you so blasted hip hop. You'd better line-dance your way down Peachtree street.
I had more to say but since I'm at work, i kept getting interrupted... so this is To Be Continued
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
the last 5 minutes
I'm so frustrated right now with Clark Atlanta U. You submit your materials in a timely manner with big bold letters. You assign tracking numbers so you know where your package is, and a sigh of relief lets out once it's arrived at its designated location all for it to sit somewhere NOT being reviewed. I got an answer in less than a week from Argosy and i'm still waiting....waiting, checking the status everyday. I wish i put a homeing device in it to tell them exactly where the letter was.
Now they finally answer an email inquiring as to the status and say I can email the infromation to them...problem with that....two of my recommendors are on vacation. I want to get this over with. tell me yes or no, get on with student loans and payout and let me pick classes.... I want to be in Grad school. It's one of those damn things where you wait so long for something and the last five minutes waiting (1 month) becomes the most grueling experience you ever have.
sigh...
Now they finally answer an email inquiring as to the status and say I can email the infromation to them...problem with that....two of my recommendors are on vacation. I want to get this over with. tell me yes or no, get on with student loans and payout and let me pick classes.... I want to be in Grad school. It's one of those damn things where you wait so long for something and the last five minutes waiting (1 month) becomes the most grueling experience you ever have.
sigh...
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